


Hearts Blood

by Jezmatron



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Hope vs. Despair, It Gets Better, Redemption, but you have to go to depths, to hit those heights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24511840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jezmatron/pseuds/Jezmatron
Summary: She has defeated her. Her greatest challenge. Her enemy. Finally.But what now? Catra's journey near the end of S4 if something else had happened. What changes when you remove that focus?Can love come back from death?
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 59
Kudos: 178
Collections: she ra fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fight that goes too far. What does that mean for someone's closely held beliefs, their certainty?
> 
> When you get what you want, are you really happy?

They’re fighting again.

It’s exhausting. It feels like the world is on an endless loop. It always starts the same. Always goes the same way. The scene changes, but deep down it’s always the same.

And she’s tired of it. Tired of being the hero, being the platform on which everyone builds their hope, being the _tool_ to deliver that hope.

She’d never say it out loud. Never admit it to anyone - it’s too deep, too ingrained. But that knot of resentment has grown. And seeing her every single time they end up in a fight has not helped. Her friends always reassure her, always tell her that “as long as we’re together” that it’ll be OK. Except even that has begun to crack at the seams, corrupted by yet another bad memory from the past.

But a body can only take so much. A mind can only bear so much responsibility, day in day out. A heart can break only so many times. Can only be papered over with banter and adrenaline so many times.

“Heeeeey Adora.”

She feels it in her chest, that tug. Something catches in her throat. This is getting harder. But it’s also easier to push it away. After the portal. After the little escape with Fluterina. After the slow grumbling of her friendships. After being forced to watch Shadow Weaver sink her tendrils into her life again.

This is the first time she’s seen her for a while. Clearly her new role keeps her from the front. Her uniform is less chaotic, tighter, her hair bound back into a wave rather than the unkempt mane of their shared youth. Recently they've barely crossed swords at all. But this time, this close to the Fright Zone? Well, no surprise that it was a trap. And Catra does love to gloat.

She’s already in full flow. Adora has just tuned it out.

This had been a simple reconnaissance, to try to find a chink in the outer perimeter, to see if they could try to gain some intelligence. But of course they’d been lured in. Catra was getting good.

“Just couldn’t resist, huh? You’re getting so predictable Princess. Gotta up your a-game. But you never did adapt, eh Adora? Never could…”

“Are we fighting or are you just trying to bore me to death?” There was no energy in her retort. She was already in full She-Ra mode, already emanating light and power. And yet it was muted. Her stance was firm, but when she looked up at Catra, perched atop a spiny piece of scrap, the cat-girl flinched.

Around them, Horde soldiers had levelled weapons. Their faceless masks, drab olive-green uniforms and red-Horde symbols all clashing in this hideous industrial wasteland. A pair of tanks trundled from their hidden locations under scrap-covered enclosures, their construction making them hard to tell apart from the rampant industrial sprawl and waste junk metal scattered all around.

“Uh, so, you have a plan right?” Bow’s tone was bright, albeit tense. Adora sighed.

“Start swinging and hope for the best. Where’s Mermista?”

As if in answer, a nearby sewer grate exploded, along with several funnel pipes. Foul smelling water cascade across the field, knocking troops flying and sending Catra leaping with a high pitched shriek as she dodged the spray.

More blasts of water erupted, giving Adora and Bow a chance to advance. She heard the twang of bow-strings and the muffled grunts as the various gadgets and nets did their work, incapacitating soldiers.

Adora-as-She-ra moved methodically. There was no energy here, just movement and her targets. Normally when she was She Ra, she fought with a wild desperation, near joy. It was exhilarating but it gave her focus. Now… now she just moved like an automaton. Her blade sang and a line of energy split a tank down the middle. She reversed her grip and thrust, sending a soldier sprawling.

Without really looking, she turned and slashed, sending another man tumbling. It was all just going through the motions. Another battle. Another spat. And what would change?

It was so hard these days. Normally she could push these thoughts away, find something to give her focus but now… now she couldn’t even muster anger.

A familiar silhouette appeared in her peripheral vision and she turned. Too slowly. Catras foot caught her in the gut and she doubled over with a grunt. She managed to block the claw swipe.

“What’s the matter Adora? Having an off day? Welcome to MY WORLD.”

The agile woman slashed at her, spinning to try to sweep Adora’s legs from under her. Adora didn’t respond, just mechanically backed away, weathering the assault. Catra’s slicked back hair was getting pulled from its position, going back to its normal wild mane as she launched herself at Adora. Her face was a grim smile. But Adora didn’t speak, just deflected, focusing on her blocks.

“You look tired. How about you lie down.”

Catra rolled to one side and Adora blinked in surprise. A third tank was before her. And it fired. She barely had time for the sword to shift to shield form before she was blasted from her feet.

Pain. It’s hard to feel pain as She-Ra but it’s possible. She struggled to her feet, but it all feels distant. Then Catra is there again, appearing out of the smoke. Her foot coming around in a roundhouse that catches Adora’s shoulder and sends her rolling again, before the cat girl vanishes back into the dust cloud with a cackle.

More shots, the sound of Mermista’s angry shouts and the echo of waves crashing against metal.

Something moves behind her and Adora swings, catching Catra with the flat of the blade and sending her spinning away with a protesting yowl.

But something felt wrong. The pain wouldn’t go away and Adora staggered, sinking back to one knee. Her vision swam. She coughed and touched her mouth and her fingers came away red.

She Ra flickers. The sword’s glow dies and the dust begins to settle.

Adora felt the pain as it began to ebb away. Shock, perhaps? One hand clung to the sword hilt, the other to her chest.gaze fixed on the middle distance. And in front of her a silhouette walking slowly through the receding dust.

“What’s the matter, all outta juice already princess? I’ll admit I’m disappointed. Hardly a work...out…”

Catra’s voice faded, her face a mask of confusion, caution. Adora swayed slightly and met those eyes. And she felt her heart break anew. Eyes she missed. 

“Heyyy Catra,” she managed. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth, “Uh… I… it’s ok. It’s ok.”

Catra’s frown deepened. Around them the battle seemed to have stopped, Horde soldiers limping away or frozen, watching the scene.

“Adora… stand up. You’re gonna surrend…”

“No… no it’s ok Catra. You… you win” there’s an edge to Adora’s voice. Something akin to sadness mixed with relief. Normally she’d fight, because there was a chance. But now, deep in her, past the pain she knows it’s over now. A voice, her own, whispers in the back of her mind _rest_.

Maybe she can now. She doesn’t have to be on a pedestal to everyone. To be looked up to. Or knocked off. Groggily, she managed to lift her head. Her smile is sad, kind. Catra stares at her, confusion and a creeping horror in her eyes, “Adora, stand up.”

“I’m.. sorry Catra. I put you through… this. But now, you don’t have to worry anymore. Don’t have to fight. Don’t have to think about… me.”

Her hand fell away from her front, revealing the jagged spear of scrap that protruded from her jacket, on her left, below her heart. Catra choked and lunged forwards, “No. No. _Nonono_ you do not get to die… no.. .not yet… not… until I’ve wo...wo…”

Catra’s eyes were angry, confused, frightened. Adora’s head lolled to one side, and she raised her hand to cup her the face of her friend, her foe.“Shhh… shh.. It’s ok. It’s ok. I’m… I’m ready. And it’s good. You don’t need me, never did, Catra. Just… just be f..”

Her eyes fluttered and her breathing hitched. Catra spun and shrieked, “Medic! Get a medic now!” The soldiers seemed stunned, confused, “ _NOW!_ ”

There was a whistling noise and a net exploded, wrapping Catra up and flinging her to one side. Another column of water blasted soldiers away and Bow charged through, sliding to a stop. His blue pants were torn and scorched, his arm bleeding from a cut and his quiver empty He stared at Adora’s slumped form, then looked at Catra, aghast.

“What did you _do_?”

Catra stared back, eyes wide, head shaking, “I...I…”

Bow looked like he was about to nock an arrow, but he yanked his communicator free instead, “Glimmer… GLIMMER… Dammit, get here NOW! Adora…. Adora’s…”

There was a puff of purple glitter and a frustrated Glimmer materialised, hair pulled back tight, face drawn with irritation. It shifted to horror as she orientated on Adora. Then her head flicked back to stare at Catra, hatred burning in her eyes. Bow lunged and grabbed at her arm.

“No time, we’ve… we’ve gotta go. MERMISTA!” 

The Sea Princess surfed over on a wave of stinking water, scattering the wounded and disorganised troopers. She almost fell when she saw Adora, eyes widened in shock “Is she, uhhh...?”

Glimmer said nothing, and instead bundled the still-standing combatants together in a huddle. They vanished in a ripple of glittering purple sparks. Catra stared at the empty space, now just marked with a pool of dark red hearts-blood. She writhed in her bonds, throat choking, eyes blurring with tears which mingled with the smudge of blood on her face.

The soldiers cringed away at her wail. A scream of agony, rage and grief so deep that surely even the First Ones heard it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only the first Chapter, while i get a handle on the plot. But wanted to see what everyone's gut reactions are.
> 
> I like soft. But I wanted to get to soft via a bit more angst first. This is a slight divergent plot from canon around S4. It's short as it just popped into my head today and I have the rest relatively mapped out. Just need to smash it all down and hopefully we'll get there!
> 
> I'm estimating about 3 - 4 chapters, just refreshing myself on S4 key plot points to ensure I get things RIGHT.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Be careful what you wish for.
> 
> You might just regret it.

They’d been fighting again.

But this time it went differently. Her barbs had seemed to sink in but rather than spurring some enjoyable, twisted riposte, or frustrated growl, all she’d seen was resignation. Their fights before always had a tension, a back and forth. Maybe, like so many things, it was one sided. But _she’d_ never been good with consistency, had she? 

Things had changed since the portal. Those icy blue eyes, eyes that had held a warmth that she resented had turned and looked at her like she was a stranger. And, for the first time, she’d seen that rage, that _will_ , turn full force against her.

Every time she’d seen her since, it’d been harder. But that just pushed her to drive the knife deeper, to twist it. To show she didn’t care. That she didn’t mind if _Princess Perfect_ ignored her. That she didn’t _need_ her. She was the _second in command_ of the most powerful force on the planet. _Scratch_ that. She was basically running it.

But this fight. Those eyes. They’d looked at her with... 

She screeched again as a squad of soldiers approached.

“Force Captain… hold...hold sti-”

Her claws lashed out and the net fell apart. She stood, huffing, hair wild and eyes wide. Her shoulders were hunched and stiff. But she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the patch of drying blood on the dusty ground. Her fingers flexed.

A helmeted soldier stepped forward, bringing her face snapping round to glare at the trooper, “Uh…. Orders...ma’am?”

She became aware that all eyes were on her. Staring. Seeing her weakness. Her snarl deepened.

“ _Find them._ That… sparkly one… She can’t hop far. They’ll… they’ll have to go a few jumps. What are you waiting for GO?!”

She slashed a clawed hand through the air, sending the trooper reeling backwards. He scrambled away, barking nervy orders and the surviving soldiers vanishing into the scrap. 

Her comm link beeped, and she squeaked, nearly dropping it as she fumbled it free. Her mind was reeling and her eyes drew back to the darkening spot. Her heart thundered i her chest and her stomach felt like it was trying to burn its way out of her. With trembling fingers she activated the tablet.

 _“Force. Cap-Tain.”_ Hordak’s harsh ennunciation cut through her tremors and she flicked her gaze back to the screen, _“Report.”_

“Rebel…. Rebel infiltration thwarted And… and She-Ra is…”

Hordak glared, _“Yes? Cat-ra?”_

“She Ra is… dead.”

Hordak blinked his blank, red eyes. Then, slowly, his face creased into a thin smile, _“Well done Force Captain. The hour of our victory draws near.”_

The screen flashed off. Catra’s eye twitched and the pad tumbled from her hands. Her throat constricted as she crumpled forwards. Her stomach lurched and she gagged, heaving.

She hadn’t eaten for days, subsisting on adrenaline, rage and sips of that awful tea Scorppia had been making. Except she hadn’t had any of that even. Scorpia seemed to be avoiding her.

And now...this.

_I killed her. I killed her. I killed her_

_I_ wanted _to. Tried so many times. HURT her, got so close…_

_And now she’s dead._

“Why…. why doesn’t it feel better? How can it feel worse?” her voice came out like a whimper, “Why can’t I be free?”

She slammed her fists into the ground and flinched as they came up, the edges sticky. She opened her hands and stared at the dark, oil stains.

Then she threw up.

**\---------------------**

The Fright Zone had undergone a change. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. Catra had gained the respect, the fear of the soldiers over the past few months, as she had risen through the ranks.. She’d driven them hard, pushed them to their limits, won victory after victory. The place had turned from a disordered but powerful mess into a true machine. But since yesterday....

Now there was a near-celebratory air. Soldiers puffed up and punched the air when she passed. The other force captains cheered when she entered the briefing room to collect a pad. 

She stalked the halls, her eyes fixed dead straight, barely offering nods. She tapped her comm badge snarling, “Scorpia? Where are you? I need… I need to talk.”

Still no answer. A day since… it had happened. Every view screen in the Fright Zone was showing either a spinning Horde symbol or a replay of the moment Catra’s kick forced She Ra onto a jagged spine of scrap. The moment she faded back into Adora and the word **TRAITOR** flashed underneath.

The camera'd even caught Catra standing above her, back to the camera that had captured the exchange. No audio, thankfully. In the video it just looked like Catra had lunged forward to deliver the coup-de-grace. 

What was surprising was that they cut out the part where she was subsequently blindsided by _Arrow-Boy_ of all people. No, instead they just looped the moment.

As if it wasn’t already seared into her mind. She felt robbed of her victory. They’d gotten away!

_Yeah. Right. That was it._

She had them! If only Adora had surrendered!

_She’d still be alive? You’d have won. And then what?_

She could’ve broken her. Brought her round. Or just shown her why it was pointless. Show her that Catra didn’t care that…

_What’s the problem. She’s gone now. You don’t have to be in her shadow. Didn’t_ need _her anyway?_

__Right?_ _

_How could that voice, that nasty little slice of cruelty in her head, how could it sound so smug?_

She continued on fishing her pad out to try to track Scorpia’s comm-badge. Hissing, she followed the little indicator, until it led to the Force-Captain’s quarters. She was just about holding it together. Scorpia would help her work through it, rationalise. She always did, not that Catra'd admitted. It's how they worked. She screamed, Scorpia forgave, then listened, then she vented some more. That'd help straighten this out. Whatever it was. She just needed to explain and show that, really, she'd done what was NEEDED. And now... 

“Scorpia, I’ve been…” 

_“Scorpia I’ve been…”_

Her voice echoed back to her. Her gaze dropped to the neatly folded note and the comm badge on the bed. That pit in her stomach gaped wider. 

_What did you expect? Everyone leaves. You’re too much._

_They all leave. You make them._

_They all leave because they’re weak._

_I’m strong_

_They all leave…._

_Or you hide them away. Wonder how **Entrapta's** doing?_

_Or you **kill** them, right?_

She staggered clutching at the door frame. Her breathing was heavy, ragged. The world was tilted. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. 

_How did you think this would end? Isn’t that what you said to Adora?_

_Well, wish come true._

_You’re a bad friend._

_Consequences, everything has consequences._

It was training all over again. One-two punches to the gut. Except this time there was no hand to pull her up. No blue eyes with a smile beneath them. That hand. That hand that always reached out. That always tried to grab her. And she smacked it away. That rage boiling inside her because it wasn’t the _right_ sort of reach. Those eyes that looked at everyone the _same_ way. Never her. 

But they’d never reach for her again, now, would they? Never that maybe moment across a battle. That one moment when it was just them. The sole focus of each other’s worlds. 

Maybe now… maybe now she could … but even _Scorpia_ was gone. 

_You’re a bad friend._

_As long as we’re together, nothing bad can ever happen._

_Promise?_

_Promise._

“Ad-or- _a.a.a._ ” 

The floor was cold, the metal painful against her hands as she clung to the frame like a mariner to a mast. Her world had opened up. Or so it should’ve. But instead of clear lungs and freedom she just felt an endless expanse of empty. 

Because if she couldn’t have Adora… what was the point. 

Maybe it was time to just kick it all down, go out in that blaze, like she’d… 

_Tried already. The portal. Those eyes that turned to ice when they looked her way._

She couldn’t muster the energy, her usual rage. She was burned out, cored. Her pad beeped. She ignored it. It beeped again. Idly her hand flopped around the floor, seeking it out. She blinked at the identifier of the incoming call and sighed. She had a shred of energy left, a shred, where she managed to straighten. 

“Lord...Lord Hordak.” 

__“Cat-ra. The preparations for the strike on Salineas?”_ _

“All companies are prepared. Force Captain Octavia is on site and ready to go. Team leader Lon - uh LX001 is reporting ready to go on the Whispering Wood perimeter. We can launch….launch when ready, Lord Hordak.” How was her voice so steady? She felt empty. Nothing left to cry out, nothing left to stop her being the good little soldier? Just like she wanted? 

_“Excellent… be…”_ Explosions rocked the distance and the viewer flickered. Hordak snarled, _“What..was….that?”_

Catra blinked, her instincts taking over, banishing the oily loathing in her gut. But not completely, “Uh I...I’ll find…” 

The screen suddenly flashed and Hordak turned to face something off-screen, _“How da-”_ It went blank. Catra blinked in surprise. Was… was the Fright Zone under attack? By who? The Princesses should’ve been on the back foot. She sprinted down the corridor, dropping to all fours to gain speed, bouncing from wall to wall as she careened around corridors. She growled into her communicator, “Report! Security report!” 

Lonnie’s voice came over the comm, _“We’ve got a PLANT MONSTER! A DAMN PLANT MON-”_

Another voice cut in - Grizzlor - _“Perimeter breach, we have flooding… enemy troops are approaching the inner sanctum! How… how did they get past?”_

_Sparkles_ thought Catra. This was unexpected. She felt a lurch in her chest. What were the rebels thinking? They’d never been this brazen. It was all sneaking, attacking them at the front. Had losing She Ra driven them over the edge? 

She could relate. 

The central command area was a mess. Water was everywhere, ice blocks showing men frozen at almost comical angles, spread-eagled in mid-ice-block. Tendrils of growths choked buildings and tanks. One of the tanks was on fire. The metal was _burning._ How was the _metal burning?!_

A few bodies lay around - rebel soldiers among the groaning Horde troopers. Lonnie was sprawled nearby, grumbling. She looked wrapped up in some sort of vine. Rogelio was unconscious nearby and Kyle whimpered, dangling from a icicle that had him pinned by his shirt to a wall. 

Twenty feet up. 

Catra surveyed the destruction and snorted, then dashed through a shattered wall. She moved quickly through the corridors, finding more soldiers unconscious and impaired all over. Frozen to walls, near choked by vines, unconscious or just curled up pretending. She made her way, following the trail of carnage until she found herself somewhere familiar. 

Hordak’s lab. 

It was trashed. Broken tubes, machinery ripped apart, pipes belching steam from where they’d been ruptured. And there, in the middle, lay Hordak. Under one of his machines, groaning. 

Catra couldn’t help herself. Her dark impulses bubbled to the surface, as she pulled all that anger, that barely-there rage, to pull the mask of her feelings down harder “ _Heeeeey_ Hordak?” 

“He can’t hear you, Horde Scum." 

She spun, hissing. But she was too slow. The staff hit her in the side of the head and her world went blurry. She staggered to one side then whimpered as she saw black tendrils swarm from the floor. Words burst in her mind, like foul bubbles from a swamp. 

_If anything happens to her, I will dispose of you myself._

They bound her and she felt herself sinking into the floor. 

“No. We may need her. And if she dies… I want everyone to see it. They need justice.” 

_Sparkles?_ Her voice was… cold. Harsh. Broken. That meant. 

_She really was gone?_

Catra saw the swing and then her world went black. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In custody with a chance at parole perhaps?

Light returned. _Very_ slowly. It reminded her of that time Entrapta had tested Emily’s “close contact” defence system as she’d been passing the lab. The damn robot had rolled into her and zapped her. She’d been out of it for a good two hours. When she’d woken up then, she’d found Entrapta looming over her, recorder in hand, tracking the precise dilation of her pupils and the angle of her fluffed tail.

Scorpia had been tapping her pincers together in the background, her face going red with relief when she had blearily managed to sit up.

_“Heeeyyyy Wildcat, so, um, Entrapta is sorry, aren’t you Entrapta? And I uh, I made some tea, because I knew you’d need to be, well, refreshed and I’m sure that this accident was at least valuable in some way….”_

She hadn’t opened her eyes yet. But that memory, those kind eyes and that gentle, hopeful smile sent her squeezing them shut even tighter. She’d screeched at Entrapta but had stormed off rather than slicing the damn robot to ribbons. She’d screamed at Scorpia too, another little load for the gentle commander to bear. She hadn’t seemed to mind.

But even she’d gone.

Hissing she rolled over and found she wasn’t on a hard floor. No, she was on something soft.

_What? Was she outside? Had they left her in some… weird...what?_

Her eyes flicked open and she moved into a squat automatically. The room wasn’t bright. Not really. Not in the sense of having much light. It was early evening it seemed and the torches around the edges of the room were fairly dim. No, it wasn’t bright. But it was _glaring_ in the clash of vibrant colours. She was sat on some sort of broad sofa. And there were no bars. ANYWHERE. Just large windows ringing a circular room with a short corridor leading to a door at the end.

She did make out a pair of guards. Women in helmets and long silver cloaks.

A year ago she’d have leapt forwards, claws out, looking to tackle and gain an advantage. But she’d learned to _check_ first. To get into a more advantageous situation.

The guards didn’t move. That seemed to indicate that no one was bothered if she was awake. Which meant she was a low priority. Which was, in fact, really insulting. She was the de facto most dangerous opponent they faced! She’d been kicking their stupid glittery asses for months. And now she was being left on a sappy, soft, sofa, with a pair of nameless nobodies watching her?

The no bars thing was also what was stopping her from charging forwards. She had an uneasy sense of familiarity, her memory flowing back to Shadow Weaver’s chambers: you could be imprisoned without bars.

She scanned the room, eyes flicking all over. She spotted some faintly clowning shapes and sigils drawn onto the floor and huffed. Great. A magic prison. She bet if she leapt forwards she’d end up looking like Emily had rolled into her all over again. And that was not the dignified air she was going for.

Instead, she forced herself to settle and lounge on the sofa. She allowed herself a smirk as she watched the guards, getting a flashback to Hordak seeing her cross-legged in his chair.

“Hey, pepper-pots? I’m bored. How ‘bout you go find someone to entertain me?”

The guards didn’t move, though one seemed to have tightened her grip on the spear. _Impractical weapon. She’d be able to get around it and then it’d just be a useless stick. Up close. Just like when she got past Adora’s stupid sw-_

Her chest lurched and her expression froze. She blinked her eyes to fight away the tears. No. No. No. She would not. Not in front of these idiots.

_**You’re such an idiot** _

She managed to turn her sob into growl, “Well go on, dream team. Go do whatever it is you guys do when you’re not failing at being intimidating.”

One of the guards sighed, but neither made a move. Hardball, eh? She was about to continue when the door at the end of the room opened and a full on _entourage_ entered. Well now, this was a change. Catra lounged and affected her best _couldn’t give a damn_ expression.

That faltered slightly at the sight of Glimmer to the fore, flanked by a black haired woman in a blue cloak and circular tiara thing and…. Shadow Weaver. With her arms crossed, Catra had to dig her claws into her own arm. But she managed to keep her expression sneering.

She couldn’t quite see the group behind, but it seemed to be made up of the rest of the rainbow parade that Adora called her friends.

“Well, the whole gang is here. _I’m honoured._ ”

“How do we get to Beast island?”

The question was direct. No nonsense. Glimmer delivered it with her arms held firmly to her side, gaze fixed on Catra. And it was also _unexpected._

“Uh, what?”

“How do we get there? Without the place…. Attacking us.”

“Beast Island, what do you want….?”

_Something clicked in her head. Beast Island. Exile prison for all the people the Horde didn’t just want dead but GONE._

_Entrapta?_

How did they know? Her eyes clicked beyond Glimmer. Someone was moving at the back of the group, muttering apologies and seemingly trying to stay out of sight.

“Answer the question, Horde Scum.”

“My Queen, this is pointless. Leave her with me and I can pull everything out of her. Isn’t that what she deserves?”

“Like you were going to with _Adora_ , Shadow Weaver? Remember that Sparkles? And now here she is like she’s your _bestie_ ,” the anger carried her through, the resentment. She wasn't going to crumble, not in front of Weaver or this crowd. She wouldn't be shaken.

Shadow Weaver spun and stalked to the edge of the circle. The air hissed and fizzled suddenly as she drew her greying fingers down an invisible barrier, “You lost the moral high ground as soon as you….”

“Enough!” Glimmer shook her head and inhaled, “Adora… Adora wouldn’t want that. Much as I want to…. But, yes, I remember. And _you_ helped us then.” Sparkles was being scarily focused, pointing at Catra. None of the rage Catra had expected, maybe even deserved. Her eyes caught sight of Arrow Boy. He seemed to have relaxed, as if he was holding in a breath. “Also, I don’t want to risk… well, I promised not to hurt you. And I don’t trust you Shadow Weaver. What’s to say you won’t just kill her, hmm? I know you hate her.”

Shadow Weaver turned and offered an obsequious bow, “My Queen, I only wish the best. And you know I want what you want, Our only hope is to get this Entrapta back.”

The taller woman with the ridiculous circlet heaved an exaggerated sigh, “Of course, the chance at revenge or ultimate power in the long term is of _no interest at all is it_ , Light… _Shadow Weaver_?”

“As if you can possibly understand my motives, Castasepella, what I have nearly lost these past few days. What this... insolent, careless brat has...”

“Wait… your name is…. Cast-a-SPELLA?” Catra snorted. Then her head lolled back and the snort turned into a full blown cackle, “R...really? I mean, the guy with the Bow is BOW…. you are LITERALLY sentient glitter and she’s called CAST A SPELL-A!”

Glimmer frowned. Catra’s laughter was now going from cackle to heaving breaths. It was unnerving. Catra leaned back, her arms flung to her sides, claws dug into the sides of the sofa. There was the tearing of cloth as she clenched her fists. Tears had started to flow and she couldn’t stop them. It was like that little laugh had been the crack in the dam, that little slip that meant she was now falling. She couldn’t help it. It’d meant to be a sneering response, but like a match on an oil slick, it’d spread.

Because of course the names were weird. She was called _Catra_ for pity's sake… and then there was _Adora_ ….

She barely saw the confused expressions on the faces of the Princess Alliance or the worried glance Glimmer fired to Bow. Catra rolled off the sofa and hammered her fist into the floor. Her laughing sobs carried on, turning into choke gurgles, as if she was trying to force something from her core. More primal than even a snarl. Her fingers dug into the tiled floor, splintering ceramic as she dragged them back, like the physical act of pulling would allow her to yank her spilled emotions into her once more. Shadow Weaver had even stepped back, confused. Perhaps even a little unnerved.

That though sent her into another spiral of sticky laughter, the tears splashing onto the floor as her hands gripped at her temples. She heard something else.

“Oh Wildcat…”

Her head shot up as she searched the group, hissing, eyes confused. But her eyes settled on a lanky, blonde woman who seemed to be staring through her. And her eyes were full of pity.

She wanted to spit, to snarl. That look was too close to Adora’s. The last look Adora had given her. She saw the woman gesture to someone she couldn’t see. Then the girl approached. Catra hissed, on all fours, her breath heaving, tears flowing freely. Up close, she realised it was that flower princess. _Smellerella? Flowerilla? Perfumista?_

“You’re in pain, aren’t you?” The words were soft. But not, as she’d expected, filled with pity. Catra snarled.

“Don’t think you know me…”

“Help us… help us get to Beast Island. Help us save Entrapta.”

“And why would I want to do that, huh? When we’re a spit away from beating you. Even if you did kill Hordak, the rest of the Horde’ll roll right over you.”

She wasn’t sure about that. But pretty confident. Heck, Hordak was tough, not invulnerable. She’d tackled him. And last she’d seen, the guy looked pretty down and out. But the Fright Zone had so many troopers, so many weapons, that even if they had gotten Hordak, there’d be enough firepower gunning for them that they’d had to retreat.

Perfuma fixed her with a kind smile. It looked faintly forced, but her eyes bored into Catra, “Because it's the right thing to do. Because she's you're friend, I think and… it might save Adora.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter one today. Wanted to leave it on that bombshell. Anything beyond just softened the blow.
> 
> So, yeah, got a few mor chapters in this than I thought. Reckon we'll top out at 7, if I hit the tempo right.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories and reminders.
> 
> Please be warned - Some mention of Restriction of Movement (Unwilling) and grief.

They’d been fighting again.

And it had felt _great._

Laughing, rolling around in the training room, their rough and tumble carrying them across vanishing platforms and past the other cadets. Catra had vaulted over a rising platform and swung down with the quarterstaff only for Adora’s slanted block to send her sliding to one side with a squawked protest. Her momentum meant she rolled, but she came back up onto the balls of her feet and charged again,

Adora was the powerhouse to her agile. That wasn’t to say she wasn’t _strong -_ four times out of five she nailed Rogelio’s arm to the table in arm wrestling - but Adora could weather a lot more than she could. Lonnie came close for taking hits, except Adora usually put herself in the way of any hits heading for teammates in the group activities.

One on one though, Adora didn’t attempt to take as many body blows. But she would _take_ them. When it was just her and someone else, she was powerful, efficient. But if she could get an angle on her opponent she take a hit. She’d try to tank it, if she thought she had an angle she could take the advantage on.

Which was her weakness. Her willingness to just get pounded, to push through _pain_ to get to the objective.

Never her team, just _her_.

It amused and infuriated Catra in equal measure. She sneered inwardly at the whole idea. Better to win a fight without a scratch on you. Show some _skill_ . Show some concept of _tactics_.

Show some self- _cutting_ -preservation.

And that meant Adora was oh-so-predictable in moments like this. Catra dropped her shoulder as she charged and put a little bit of a limp into her movements. She saw Adora’s eye flick to the “injury”. But she wasn’t fooled by Catra’s gambit and adjusted her guard to anticipate the strike. She didn’t go “ _Oh Catra, are you ok?”_

Which was good, because Catra had wanted her guard up just _there_.

She followed the limp through and sank as she ran, going into a slide, rather that her characteristic lunge. Adora hadn’t tried to dodge - she’d intended to just absorb the strike and maybe deflect Catra again.

She hadn’t expected Catra to slide _under_ her ,, hooking her staff over Adora’s and then to pull _down_ as she went between Adora’s legs, kicking one out at the same time.

Adora flipped head over tail and landed on her back with an _oomph_. As she rolled to stand, the blonde froze, a clawed finger pressed to her temple.

“Hey Adora,” Catra purred, quarterstaff held behind her at an angle, “Need to work on your footwork again, huh? Sloppy. Princesses won’t let you get away with _that_ in the field.”

Adora was breathing heavily, her eyes fixed on Catra but she snorted, “What, you think they’ll try to get between my legs?”

Catra blinked, “What? Ewww! ADORA!” she huffed and shoved the snorting girl backwards, “Gross.”

Adora snorted then climbed to her feet, “Go again?”

Catra blew a strand of errant hair from her face and twirled her staff. A smirk crossed her face, “What still think you can take me? Admit it Adora, I’m as good as being your Force Captain?”

“Just can’t wait to give me orders can you?”

Blue and gold eyes looked away and she gave a “Psh”, before smirking again, “You need some direction, with all that flailing. Expect me to do all your fighting for you?”

Adora gives a half smile, “Nah. Just watch my back, make sure I don’t get side-swiped when I _do_ make a mistake.”

That lopsided grin was enough to spear past Catra’s facade of indifference and she let out another snort, “Yeah, exactly. But you gotta be better Adora. I may not always be around to cover your ass. Y’know, when I’m living it up in the Force Captain district.”

Her hand waved in the air, making a grand gesture. Adora shook her head and chuckled, then hip checked the cat-girl, “Yeah yeah, Ms-Steps-on-her-own tail…”

“HEY! That was NOT me!”

“Again… c’mon. You beat me this time, you can have some of my ration bar,”

Catra rolled her eyes, “Way to incentivise, Adora… Grey or brown?”

“Grey….”

“Ugh, _fiiiiiine_.”

They squared off again and go through some more movements. Slowly at first with blocks being checked, swiped, trying to find that rhythm. It didn't take too long. Adora seemed lost in the zone, eyes seeing Catra but not really. She saw her movements, her attacks. Saw the form, the intent. But it’s also a little uncomfortable. 

And infuriating.

She saw Catra as just a _thing_. Some sort of puzzle she could solve, defeat. She hated it when Adora looked at her like that. Or when Adora looked at her with concern, like she couldn’t look after herself. Or if Adora smiled at her. Because that anger came from somewhere else, somewhere she couldn’t articulate. It’s an anger that filled her with joy. Was it anger? It felt the same, locked her throat up, dove her to be snarky, to scratch out.

With a hiss she ducked and swept her leg. Adora, caught off guard again, stumbled, but planted the staff and used it to haul herself back. Catra surged forward again, her swipes long but aggressive. Adora seemed off balance and Catra pressed the advantage, but Adora blocked the next swipe easily, then stepped _into_ Catra’s guard with a pivot.

_So close. She’s so close._

The elbow to her stomach knocked that thought away and Catra stumbled back. Adora moves forward again, the quarterstaff spinning in a figure eight that seemed too flashy for little-miss-precision.

Catra fell back, then turned and ran for a rising column. Height. That was her go to when the unexpected happened. Gain height, gain the superior position. She spun when she reached the apex of the climb up the rising plinth, one foot pushing away. No plan, just turn and use the down sweep.

And yep, Adora had followed. The girl watched as Catra descended. She looked like she was going to body check the strike again. 

She did.

Which was why Catra kicked her in the chest as she came down as well. Something went _crack_ and it wasn’t their staves. Adora staggered back, then snarled and threw the staff like a javelin. Catra squeaked and ducked as the pole slammed into the side of the column and stuck.

“Adora what the _hell?”_ Catra was panting, that could’ve….

But Adora had sunk to one knee and was drawing in ragged breaths that rattled in her throat. She stared at the pole where it stuck, then at Catra, a confused look on her face. Catra’s nervous rage shifted to something else. It felt like panic. But she didn’t panic. Never did. She just got _angry._

“Dang Catra, think you punctured her lung…” murmured Lonnie who had jogged over and now squatted next to Adora, “Shadow Weaver is gonna _flip_.”

Catra stared at Adora, who was trying to push Lonnie away, “No… fine. Just…. Winded…” Adora stood and winced, then flashed Catra an thin, weak smile, “Just gonna go shower. Be fine.”

As she watched the girl stagger towards the locker room Catra swallowed. She tossed the quarter staff to Kyle, “Put that away. I’m gonna check on her.”

She caught up to Adora and matched her steps, then gave her a once over, “Ok, med wing, _now_. No Arguing.”

“I’m… f…” Adora stumbled and leaned against a wall, her teeth gritted

Catra grunted and slung Adora’s arm over her shoulder and hauled her to the med-wing. Which was a charitable way of saying “mechanics bay but for body parts.”

It was stark, like the rest of the Fright Zone, with little in the way of creature comforts. Utilitarian decor, cabinets and beds. The duty medic gave Adora a cursory once over and identified a fractured rip and some internal bruising. Which sent Catra into a tailspin.

“Shadow Weaver is going to _end_ me….”

She paced by Adora’s bed, whilst her tail flicked rapidly from side to side. Her ears were pressed flat against her head. She froze when Adora’s hand grabbed her arm and slid down to grip her hand.

“Hey, don’t worry. It’s training. This happens. She didn’t care when Rogelio concussed Kyle…”

“Yeah ‘cos that was _Kyle_ . Cannon fodder trooper number 546. She just needs him to hold a taser the right way round. But you’re,” Catra’s mouth worked in a complicated grimace, “ _Adora_.”

“Lonnie got me good last week….”

“Yeah, but that’s Lonnie. Not... _me_.”

They lapsed into silence. Shadow Weaver was not an easy Commander to work with. Adora shook her head, “Well, I’ve got this.”

“Like you totally ‘had me.’”

Adora smirked and then winced, “Hey, I get you half the time. The rest your just, RAAAA HISS BLEEEEH. EEEEK.”

“I do NOT sound like that!”

“Yeah you do, see, your voice does this…”

“It does not!”

“Did it again.”

“Shut up!”

“Make me.”

“Next time I’m gonna get your voice box… thing.”

“My… my what now?”

“You heard…”

“One more time…?”

“Shut up.”

“ _What_ is going on?”

The pair froze and looked to the entrance. Shadow Weaver was only slightly taller than the two of them, but she had a _way_ of occupying all the space around her. Probably to do with her red robes, which writhed like some sea beasts tendrils. Or the way the shadows danced around her against the light and the natural way they _should_ align.

“Uh, Shadow Weaver…. I just brought…. Brought Adora to the Med bay due to a training issue.”

Shadow Weavers implacable mask fixed on Catra, “And I suppose you had _nothing_ to do with it, Catra?”

Adora sat up, wincing, “Ma’am, catra caught me off guard,” Catra stared angrily at Adora - _throwing me to the Whisper-Wolf, why don’t you?_ Shadow Weaver seemed equally stunned, but Adora continued, “Because I asked her to. I can’t learn if I don’t take risks. Can’t be a good leader unless I learn what _not_ to do. You say we need to learn to be powerful. I can’t do that unless I get challenged.”

Shadow Weaver cocked her head and looked at Catra, “Is this true Catra? Don’t lie.”

“Uh… yes… she… uh wanted a challenge. Said the others wouldn’t do it.”

Adora nodded, “And when Catra said no, I went for it, made her fight back. But I got sloppy and fell badly. So, she brought me here.”

Shadow Weaver stared at the pair then reached out and touched Adora’s hand, “I respect your intent Adora. It is… wise… to push yourself. And to make use of those around you who can prove occasionally useful.”

She fixed Catra with a look, white eyes narrowed in that mask, her voice level, “As for you Catra…. Do not push too hard next time. Your response was… adequate.”

“Gee thanks,” murmured Catra as she looked away.  
  
“What was that?”

“Uh, thank you ma’am…. Will, uh… make sure she doesn’t go too hard again.”

_“Good,”_ And with that, the woman left bad the oppressive air of darkness oozed away with her. Catra watched her go and glanced sideways at Adora who slumped back on the pillow. The blond turned her head to her and grinned.

“Told you I had you…”

Catra’s heart did a little flutter. Irritation? Nerves post-Shadow Weaver?

“Yeah whatever, i could’ve gotten out of it.”

“Ugh, just say _thank you Adora for covering for me nearly maining you.”_

“Think you Adora for nearly maiming yourself…. I needed the chuckle.”

Adora gave an exasperated sigh and banged her head against the pillow, “You’re the worst.”

“So, uh…. I’m gonna go get some… stuff. Want anything? Not that I care,” Catra rubbed on of her arms, then studied her claws. Adora stared at the ceiling and sighed.

“Maybe a… nah, you go.”

Catra shrugged. But she trailed a hand along Adora’s arm for a moment and gave her a smirk before she left.

That night, Adora’d been confined to the med-bay, surrounded by the steel and clinical materials. The eerie, glowing monitors and beeping machines. So Catra had snuck in and brought a ration bar with the excuse of _I stole Kylle’s_ and spent the rest of the night there, curled up at the foot of Adora’s bed.

  
  
  


**\-------------------------------------------**

_It was like a rerun. Like being forced to watch those orientation videos on battlefield trauma for the fiftieth time during basic training._

_But this was worse. So much worse._

_Because it looked so wrong._

_Catra stood in the castle infirmary and stared at the contraption that held Adora._

They were here because, as soon as Perfuma had stopped speaking, Catra’s claws had slammed against the magical barrier. Sparks had shot out but she hadn’t moved. Instead she’d dragged them down the flickering, blue shield.

“Don’t lie. Don’t try that. Don’t pull some sick Princess mind game.”

Perfuma had looked genuinely confused, “Um, what?”

“I _killed_ her. She… she can’t…. Wi-win.” But that word felt _wrong_ in her bones. Like a shield made of paper. It sat wrong on her tongue. So she snarled out defiance instead, “I got her….”

Shadow Weaver growled, but Castaspella spoke, “Well, it’s… stretching the term.”

Catra felt her stomach lurch again. She recognised hope. And she recognised it suddenly fading. She didn’t know _what_ to feel.

“She doesn’t need to know this. She just needs to _talk_ ,” hissed Shadow Weaver, “My queen, give me…”

“No. We tried your way and we don’t know if it made things worse for… Adora.”

Catra looked at Shadow Weaver, a sick feeling in her stomach and she lurched at her instead, “What did you do to her?”

“Halted the work you started. Sad you couldn’t finish her, little one?”

Catra felt fuzzy, “Why didn’t she just Princess Rainbow herself all fine again. Done it before…” she wrapped her arms around her and stared at the floor, the fight momentarily forgotten.

“She needs to be awake to do that, Horde Scum,” hissed Glimmer.

“And she needs to want to,” murmured Castaspella. That left an uncomfortable silence as Catra looked up, confused.

“How… how can she not be awake and also not _want_ to do something. I know she’s as stubborn as…” but she trailed off.

Shadow Weaver huffed, “This is a waste of time. Tell us what we want to know…”  
  
Catra shot her a look, “You know more about Beast Island. Why don’t _you_ tell them?”

“Because if I know Hordak he will have changed all the protocols and approach systems for _Horde_ craft. Or you have put in place _additional_ defences. To hide your... indiscretion with _Entrapta._ You will talk. He will not.”

“Killed him?” muttered Catra. The frustrated silence answered that - clearly they hadn’t managed to finish the job with the skeletal commander in chief. She idly wondered what’d happened, then dismissed it, “So, you bungled save-the-princess, too?”

She was in control now. She had something they wanted. That was leverage. Her mind kept _that_ thought abstract - kept her from thinking about what else was on her mind. Kept her thinking that the next step was to something else, like winning or getting one over on them. But her tail flicked from side to side too fast. Her foot tapped rapidly on the floor. And she had to bite down as her own claws dug into her arm.

“Do you want to see her?”

The question hit her like one of Adora’s side-swipes. Her eyes flicked back to Perfuma, “What… I….”

“What are you _thinking_ Perfuma?!” shrieked Glimmer, “NO! She tried to kill her. She WANTS to kill her! And you want her in the same room as her again?! No, I am QUEEN and I say…”

Bow stepped forward, his face set in a tense expression, and laid a hand on Glimmer’s shoulder, “She can help us, Glim.”

“How is her gloating over Adora’s bo...body…”

“She’s still alive…” murmured Bow.

Castaspella grimaced, “ _Technically_ ,” and she shot an icy glare at Shadow Weaver. Catra glared at the witch and snarled. Something clicked in her head. She did want to see Adora. She wasn't sure why. Finality? Closure?

“Let’s just… just get it over with. Yeah, I want to see Ms All Powerful, Then… then maybe. That’s the deal. You get to see me gloat. Can you _deal_ with that Sparkles?”

Glimmer’s fists clenched and she glared at Catra, who just fired a smirk back. But deep down, her heart wasn’t _quite_ in it. Truth be told, she couldn’t stoke the fire as much. Adora was alive and instead of it being a frustration that her _enemy_ had gotten away, there was a hollow pit of relief in her gut.

The Princesses had a small conference _right there_ . Catra couldn’t help chuckle, despite the strange roiling emotional gamut she had been through. These people couldn’t plan worth a damn and just had full on _discussions_ in front of their enemy! She glanced around the room and saw the gouges in the floor. Which set her pulse racing again as the pain bubbled back up in her brain and throat. She forced it back down and tasted bile in her mouth.

A moment later Glimmer turned and seemed to sag, “Fine. Since you, _apparently_ are the best chance we have…. I don’t like it though,” she looked at Bow, “This… all this is why I didn’t want you guys going out…. Taking risks..”

“We’re at _war_ Glimmer…”

“Yes but… I need to _know_ so I can _help._ Because now… now we haven't got _her_.”

“Ooooh… trouble in the ranks. See, this is why being _friends_ holds you back. No need to worry about risking people if you don’t care. Learn it, Sparkles,” sniggered Catra. A sad sigh from the back of the group caught her attention and again she saw _something_ move out of sight. Before she could follow her hunch, the barrier vanished.

She was crouched and ready to go when gold bands appeared around her wrists. They expanded to cover her whole hands. Another set flashed into existence around her ankles and a chain materialised between them and the wrist manacles. Not a chain…. A _bar_. She couldn’t easily bend her knees, squat or move.

“Hey, what the….”

Shadow Weaver waved a hand and a gag flashed around her face, muffling her. The guards stepped forwards, spears ready. Castaspella frowned, then traced a symbol in the air. The spears simmered and the points melted as the guards approached. They blended together and Castaspella motioned to the soldiers, “Collar her.”

And like that, she had a pair of guards holding poles that were attached to a binding around her throat.

Tears filled her eyes unbidden. It was Shadow Weaver’s sanctum all over again. She couldn’t move. Her nostrils flared and she whimpered. For the briefest moment she saw a strange mix of emotions on Glimmers face. Raw satisfaction, that was prominent. But also maybe guilt? She’d seen Shadow Weaver in the Fright Zone. Knew what she _did_ ….

She was roughly marched from the room, the Princes group parting before her, with Glimmer falling in step behind her.

But a figure stepped up alongside them, walking carefully, keeping abreast of the guards. Catra stared.

“Hey Wildcat… uh, Catra.. So, uh… Yeah may have given these guys some old passcodes and patrol guides to get into the Fright Zone… but, uh, _really_ important, really important that they had to. You’ll… you’ll uh… yeah. Great and… I’m sorry Catra.”

She tried to marshall her thoughts. Scorpia came _here_ ? Like _Adora_? What was it with these Princesses? What had she done to deserve…

**_You’re a bad friend_ ** **.**

They walked through the corridors, down a wide, winding set of stairs, until they reached some sort of antechamber - a hospital? Or some sort of converted room? She wasn’t sure. There were cots setup, but whatever it was, the room looked like it had meant to be something else. Most of the beds were full and she felt a pang of satisfaction that _her_ troops had done their job.

Until she saw the people sat near the beds, holding hands, whispering, crying. The faint rattle of breathing that was coming harder and harder.

But the worst thing lay ahead, behind several screens. There was an unpleasant, sickly light. Like the monitors in the med-bay back home.

It was a strange, haphazard arrangement. In the centre was a bed. And around the bed were glowing symbols, mostly lit up with a vibrant, white light. But interspersed around them were sickly black shapes that writhed and twisted. The air around them _looked_ noxious. Threaded through all that were cables, wires. Some looked like stuff straight from Entrapta’s older kit. The rest was clearly Horde through and through. The cables connected to monitors and machines, things she’d seen in Hordak’s lab. It was a strange collection - his strange tubes of oily green liquid, the robotic stations, the electrical generators… there was no constant. Just a whole bunch of _stuff_.

Catra tried to drink all that in because the glimpse of what was _on_ that table had sent her eyes flicking everywhere else.

She managed to fix her gaze there and absorbed the details. First was the white sheet that covered the table. Mostly white. Well, mostly red, actually. Verging towards brown. And there... there was so much.

The pipes and cables trailed up to where _she_ lay. Her hair was spread out above her head, free of the various _things_ around her. But it looked duller, lank. 

The rest of Adora she couldn’t really make out because her torso was encased in....

She swallowed. That was one of _Hordak’s_ cuirasses. His armour. The cables led to it and runes had been etched onto it. They pulsed unpleasantly, like an irregular heartbeat. But Adora remained perfectly still. Catra couldn’t tell if she was breathing. And to cap it all off the air smelt _wrong_. So so _wrong. Adora_ smelled _wrong_.

And with that, her fight fled. She sagged and the two guards stumbled, which caused Glimmer to turn sharply to glare. But the glare faded to confusion as Catra’s head lolled and she let out a strangled gurgle.

_I thought winning would feel different_.

She tried to speak but the gag prevented her. Glimmer looked at Shadow Weaver, but the old witch seemed hypnotised by Adora. With a grunt, Glimmer traced a symbol and the gag vanished. Catra didn’t sob, but she felt the tears begin to run down her face. Her core was cold and she could feel herself shivering.

“What… what is all this? Why haven’t you, y’know, _fixed_ her?”

“Why do you care Ho-”

Catra twisted her head and snarled at Glimmer, “Why haven’t you fixed her? Why is she… why… this is why she… shouldn’t have…. Princesses _always_ …. You just hurt and….”

She yowled, a painful, broken sound and she heard the familiar heavy footfall of Scorpia. But someone was clearly holding the woman back. Glimmer stared at her and swallowed. Her eyes were angry but also confused. She seemed to come to a decision.

“We tried magic. Didn’t work…. But Scorpia had arrived by then, been here a few days whilst we worked things out. She mentioned that Hordak, being a crazy science guy had a lab. Some sort of medical stuff that Entrapta and he worked on. That she helped him rebuild his armour. Which _you_ managed to break.”

Catra looked back at the chest piece, “That’s why you went for him?”

Glimmer nodded stiffly, “She faded fast. Your little… you pushed a piece of metal nearly into her heart. We can’t get it out. Aunt Casta….. Cataspella managed to heal the wound, seal things but… she was going to die. Shadow… she tried something drastic, we were desperate.”

Shadow Weavers voice was hollow as it cut through, “It is not a simple thing, binding the essence to a form it does not wish to occupy. Much harder to keep things out that want _in_ as well. Especially with someone as powerful as _She Ra_.”

“Her name is _Adora_ ,” hissed Catra.

Shadow Weaver glanced her way, “I am well aware. And I care more than you will ever realise, wretch. This is by your hand. Not mine. By my hand I have anchored her here, fended off scores of interlopers. But I cannot bring forth She Ra. _We_ cannot heal her. She does not _want_ to be healed.”

That hit her, “What? She’s out? Just… sparkle your magic and do what you guys do, which is pull something outta thin air. Works usually.”

Glimmer glared again, “Magic doesn’t work, just holds her steady, stable. So we tried tech. And… it’s helping but not much.”

“That magic will not bind her forever. She wants to leave,” whispered Castaspella. Bow chewed his lip and shook his head.

“She wouldn’t do that to us," That was Archer Boy.

“Why not, she’s left before,” spat Catra. “Yeah, she’s got form…”

A smaller figure stepped in front of her, a tiny thing in blue who glared at her, “She left you, she wouldn’t leave _us_.”

“Huh, Etheria to Snow-girl, Adora runs into things. Then she runs away.,” but Catra didn’t believe it. It was her shell, the thing she told herself to blame Adora. Stupid, proud, _honourable_ Adora. She didn’t want to look at her but her eyes kept going back there. And each time her stomach knotted up again. Then a question occurred, “Why Beast island? If nothing’s working? What’s Entrapta gonna do?”

Bow ran a hand over his face, “The tech could work… Could bring She Ra back, but we can’t get it to co-operate with the magic. We’re good but… she’s better. Especially with... First Ones stuff. And She Ra IS first ones stuff.”

Catra fumbled for a sarcastic reply but it didn’t come. She heaved a shuddering sigh, “And if it doesn’t work?”

“It will. Or at least it’ll bring She Ra back. And that’s what we need,” Glimmer’s voice was harsh and Catra leaned back a bit to regard her, or at least as far as she could.

“What?”

“None of your concern, Horde Scum…”

Bow turned to fix Glimmer with a stern look, “We discussed this, Adora is…”

“Probably gone. Bow I want to save her. But if she goes then what? We need to wipe the Horde out. And to do that we need She Ra. That should mean saving Adora… but I _have_ to think of the bigger picture. I love her too but….”

That word bit _hard_. Catra snarled, “You don’t… you just want to burn her out, like you always did. She’s just…. Just…”

The words came from _no where_. Why had she said that? The Princesses all looked shocked. Even Scorpia seemed nonplussed. Glimmer firmed up. And glared at her.

“You got what you wanted Catra. Now tell us how to get to Beast Island. What defences are there? What do you do to get people _back_?”

Catra gave a dark laugh, “Don’t you get it Sparkles? It’s a one way trip. We send a glider out, auto pilot. Sometimes they come back, sometimes they don’t. Whole place is some sort of… First Ones trash pile. Messes with any tech.”

The group exchanged a glance, “First Ones….” murmured Bow.

“Uuuuuuh, don't we, like, have a ship? Yeah.” That was the Water one, Catra thought. Bow spoke up again.

“But only Adora can, like fly the thing, right…”

“No,” Glimmer shook her head, “Light Hope can probably help. She’s First Ones tech. So is the ship. We can… do something with that.”

Bow nodded, “Worth speaking to her maybe…. If we can get her to talk.”

Glimmer nodded, “We’ll do that. So, Horde… Catra. Defences, perimeter stuff.”

Catra looked at her, “There are none. Don’t need it. The place just… eats tech. Eats people.”

Glimmer blinked, “Seriously? That’s… that’s your security for the most feared prison on the _planet_.”

Catra shrugged, “Worked so far…”

The Princesses all went into a huddle, but Catra couldn’t tear her eyes away from Adora. Or Shadow Weaver. The witch seemed to be as transfixed as her. Around her the Princesses were arguing but she stared.

_I did that._

_I put her there._

_I beat her._

_I_ ** _beat_** _her_.

_I beat her... til my knuckles bled._

She looked at Shadow Weaver. Then back to Adora.

_Why won’t it stop hurting? She never gives up, never stops. Why is she stopping now? Get UP Adora._

They were arguing about the whens and whys. The risks. The confusion. Bow was adamant he was going. The others were supportive but unsure. _Yeah reliable bunch here_ . But then again they all seemed to want to go… the argument actually seemed to be about who _wouldn’t_ go. Who had to stay _here_.

“I’ll go,” Catra blinked at her own voice. The whole group stopped and stared at her. Glimmer gave a choked laugh.

“Yeah of _course_. Like you won’t just roll whoever you’re with down a cliff.”

Catra wanted to go for a sneer or some sort of witty retort but her gaze drifted back to Adora, “No. For her. I’ll do it. Get your wizards to do something. Some sort of… I don’t know, chain. Cuts my head off if I don't get back in like a full moons glitter sparkle or whatever.”

Glimmer shook her head, “Not going to happen. I don’t trust you. None of us do. We didn't before and certainly cannot now. Not after _this_.”

Catra turned her face to the Queen and glared, “She’s _mine…._ I mean my friend _too_.”

Glimmer leaned in close, “Real great way of showing it… Catra.”

She wanted to spit, to snarl. But instead all the wind left her. Everything. She sagged in her chains, “Then just finish me off. Got nothing else….”

Glimmer actually took a step back, eyes flickering slightly with worry. With pity? Catra couldn’t even muster up the energy. Glimmer exchanged a few glances with the other Princesses, then looked to the guards. When she spoke, it was with something approaching compassion, “Take her… back to the cell. And…. get her some food.”

Catra didn’t resist. She just walked with the guards. She looked back once as they left the infirmary. Watched the screens get pulled back. Watched Adora vanish from view.

  
_I thought that winning would be different_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this one is BIIIIG.
> 
> I'm going to be winding up the trauma conga fairly soon. I feel Catra maybe has been flogged enough. Enough to warrant a full turnaround? Well, next 2 chapters we shall see!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor communication kills. So let's try something different. The game is afoot as Glimmer advances her plan and Catra is left to muse.

She spent the next couple of hours curled up on that strange, shredded couch. There weren’t any additional cushions in the room, which was a bit strange, but only something she noted idly in passing. She had her back to the door and the guards, curled in on herself as she was. Her hands bunched together and she bit down hard against her knuckles.

She wasn’t sure how much time had really passed - the purple twilight that seemed to suffuse the whole place was unnerving. But it gave way to a shimmering pink dawn, so she guessed she must’ve slept somewhat.

With the dawn came a strange thrumming noise and she wondered if that was the _ship_ they were talking about leaving. Her memory flashed back to the Crimson Wastes. Sitting in the throne of that spacecraft. And yet it was _another_ reminder of Adora. It’d been _her_ ship after all. Or She Ra’s ship. _Whatever_.

That fragment brought some very bittersweet recollections - Scorpia’s earnest pleading for them to just start again. To run away. But Catra had wanted to drag Adora _back_. She was pulled into the girl’s orbit again.

If she’d gone, then she’d have been in the clear. Free to...do what? Rule a band of desert raiders? It had had it’s appeal and she’d felt _free_. Unburdened. 

What had dragged her back? A chance with the Horde? Or…

Or was it to break Adora down? Revenge?

She knew. Her hands clenched tighter. She’d wanted to hurt Adora. And she thought that by taking her back… by using her as a prisoner, a bargaining chip to restore her place in the Horde that she’d feel vindicated. Show the girl that there were _consequences_ to leaving her.

_And when Scorpia asked you? There was something there, wasn’t there?_

Catra mulled that over. She’d seen it in Scorpia’s eyes, the way she always acted. They’d been close, but she kept her at arms reach. She had never confided in her in the same way she had that _idiot_. A small chuckle escaped her lips then, which shifted to a slight sob.

But she’d seen that earnest desperation in Scorpia’s eyes and it had scared her. It’d been another chance…. That she’d stepped away from.

_Come with me Catra._

In the Whispering Woods, a blonde girl had held out her hand. Catra had thought she’d seen pity in those eyes. But after months of seeing her, fighting her… she knew it wasn’t pity. It was pleading. A desperate need.

Maybe she’d always known. And she kept saying _no_ so Adora could _feel_ how she’d felt every day since…. Since she’d left her.

_Hardly left you if she kept asking you go with her._

But it’d been on Adora’s terms.

_And you wanted her back on your terms._

Shut _up_ . Catra hissed and buried her head deeper. She had wanted to go. But that look in Scorpia’s eyes had made her _not_ want to. Because it was too similar to the same look in Adora’s eyes.

And it wasn’t _Adora_ asking.

“Yeah, I got serious issues here,” she grumbled to herself. She’d thought it was anger. Ambition. A chance at the top slot. But she was realising it didn’t matter how high she went. It’d always been Adora casting a shadow.

The door at the far end creaked and heavy footsteps clomped up. Fainter footfalls echoed them.

“Heyyyy. So, uh… Perfuma thinks, ‘cos we’ve been talking and oh my gosh Catra she knows a _lot_ about dealing with stress issues and anxiety and, well, you know I have a LOT of worries about my image…. Anyway, getting off track, but… are you doing ok?”

Catra tried to bunch up tighter but couldn’t. The softer footsteps came closer, “It’s ok. I know it must’ve been…. Hard. I had the same feeling when that poison got to my trees and….”

Something clicked her Catra’s head and she rolled over with an incredulous expression. Scorpia mouthed an _Oh dear_.

“That’s your go to? _Trees_. That’s what you think is comparable?” Catra swung off the sofa and stood, shoulders tight, breathing heavy, “You think me losing the lo-.... Lo-...”

Her eyes blinked and she stamped her foot with an “ _AGHHH”_ , then spun away.

“Uh Catra… what was that?” Scorpia’s voice with concern. Catra turned back and levelled a finger at her.

“You _left_ Scorpia, you don’t get to…”

“Don’t talk to her like that! _You_ sent Entrapta away!” That was Perfuma, suddenly between Catra and the tall Scorpion Princess. Catra was non-plussed. _What is it about blonde girls and saviour attitudes?_

Scorpia rested a pincer on Perfuma’s arm and gently moved her out of the way and looked Catra straight in the eye. Her jaw worked nervously but she kept eye contact until Catra looked away with a huff.

“I always tried to help you Catra. I thought you wanted to be the top… person. Shadow Weaver, Hordak, anyone. I thought you could do it. Didn’t know why but I knew you could, you've got that buzz, Kit-kat. But… is it what you want?” Catra glared at her half heartedly.

“What I _want_ doesn’t matter. You can just… let me out, go drop me somewhere in the Whispering Wood. You all got what you needed.”

Scorpia frowned and shook her head, “I’m glad you aren’t trying, y’know some sort of Shadow Weaver mind-weirdo stuff on me. Y’know, like she pulled on you in….” Catra’s expression was cold, actively hurt.

“I am _nothing_ like her. I would ne….never….”

_Entrapta would disagree. So would most of those soldiers coming back wounded from the front._

“Anyway, well, uh, we can’t let you go. And yes, I said **we** because…. Because I am affirming my stance and my beliefs,” Perfuma smiled and nodded encouragingly, “And… and I want to say that we can help you with _yours_. We’re here. I can stay. Or we can go. But… you deserve something Wildcat. You deserve to not be angry. To not be in pain.”

Catra looked up into sad eyes. She searched for pity there, for a sign. She almost couldn’t bear it, wanted to scream. But the rage, the pain that had fuelled her, pushed her to conquer nearly half the planet was gone. The mania that had suffused her evaporated, leaving a strange fog of uncertainty and a blank expanse of open future of _nothing_. She stepped back and half sat-half fell to the floor. Her back rested against the sofa and her breaths came out it shallow gasps.

She glanced sideways at the two women and nodded slowly. Perfuma nodded back and sat down at the edge of the circle. Scorpia joined her, settling awkwardly on the floor. When the flower-girl spoke, it was with soft tones. Kind

“The first step… is to understand that it is fine to feel pain. Knowing that pain is there… lets you know where it comes from. I won’t ask you to talk, to ‘spill’ as Mermista says…”

The words didn’t matter. What mattered was that Catra, for the first time in a long while didn’t feel quite so _alone_.

\-----

Hours passed and Scorpia and Perfuma had stayed, walking through breathing exercises. Perfuma had wanted them to do a “sharing session” but Catra had growled at that. One step at a time. She was a prisoner, not some therapy student.

After dawn had properly broken a servant had brought breakfast which was.. Weird. It was fruity. And had actual bread. Catra had sniffed it and begrudgingly tried some, before wolfing the whole thing down. All three ate together, exchanging quiet words. It was surreal. It was _normal_.

The pair stood after breakfast and Catra couldn’t help swallowing. She couldn’t quite meet either of their gazes, “So, yeah…. That was not terrible.”

Perfuma smiled, “I’ll talk to Glimmer. I don’t think this is as… clear as we all think.”

“Yeah, Catra. I know you don’t _like_ Princesses. And we have a _bunch_ of things we are going to… y’know, maybe go over. When all this is done.”

Catra looked at her then, heart rate increasing with mild panic. A week ago, had this happened, what would she have done? Shouted at Scorpia. Or tried to tell her to let her out. Trick her? Maybe.

 _You are more her daughter than you think. There’s a scary thought_.

Scorpia smiled sadly and shrugged, “Well, we gotta get planning. Can’t do that here. Because, y’know… we’ll… we’ll let you know if things change.”

Catra watched them turn and swallowed. Her voice was small when she spoke, a single word, “Thanks,” Scorpia paused and turned, then nodded.

They froze as the doors opened and a familiar, unpleasant shape stood there, “Force Captain _Scorpia_ . What an unpleasant surprise. But I should have expected you to be conspiring with the prisoner…. Oh. _Perfuma_.” The flower princess glared at Shadow Weaver and stepped in front of Scorpia _again_. Catra, watching, frozen, from her makeshift cell couldn’t help but chuckle. Especially as she caught the blush on Scorpia’s cheeks.

“Shadow Weaver, you shouldn’t be here. The queen….”

“Is busy. And _that_ was my ward. My responsibility. I know she has been lying to us. Concealing much. She knows all about the Horde’s movements. We are wasting _time_ and effort on being _nice_. She can tell us more.”

“Uh, gonna have to make hard _nope_ there, uh former-commander Shadow Weaver. We’ve already interrogated the prisoner.”

“Via the medium of _brunch_ I see,” sneered Shadow Weaver, “None of you have the grit… the Queen will be in-”

Catra was shaking slightly. If Shadow Weaver got to her would the princesses stop her? Would they think it’d be easier to just let her kill their enemy? She’d never really bought into the propaganda and the more she saw of this bunch of glitter stuffed idiots the more she knew they never had the stomach to do their _worst_.

Until they’d lost Adora of course. Would the gloves come off now?

Part of her brain wanted to antagonise Weaver. But she hadn’t exactly got the luxury of a wide open space to dodge the Witch’s attacks if she got down to it. She was the proverbial fish in the sewer-pipe.

There was the tell-tale flaring of Shadow Weaver’s magic but a cloud of pink and purple sparkles announced the sudden apparition of Glimmer. The Queen looked around the room, barely noticing Catra, before zeroing in on Shadow Weaver.

“There you are… why are you here?”

“My queen,” Shadow Weaver bowed and stretched the word obsequiously, “I wished to aid the cause by… ridding us of a risk.”

Glimmer looked back at Catra and seemed to be considering something, but shook her head, “No time. The Horde are moving. Seems Hordak has gotten his act together. Almost like someone already had a plan laid out that he just has to follow.”

The Queen gave Catra a _look_ . The once-grand-commander of the Horde gave an indignant huff, “Well _duh_ , Sparkles. Most armies have a chain of command, plans, _strategy_. We don’t just charge in. We lay stuff out. What, you thought take out some people with fancy badges and it all falls apart? That’s where we have your Princesses beat. We don’t fall apart when one big shot hits the dirt.”

_Lie._

Glimmer’s face was impassive, “So you really don’t matter, do you? Just another wheel they can replace. Hordak seems to have done that already. No change there then, Scum… because you aren’t even _Horde_ anymore are you?”

“I think we need to work on reducing the actively negative energy in this room.”

“The only negativity is that _she_ still sullies this place with her presence. I would not be surprised if she hasn’t already persuaded this clod to release her.”

“They were LEAVING! And I’m still IN HERE,” groaned Catra, “And this isn’t even a DECENT PRISON CELL.”

Glimmer had a moment where she looked like she was about to say “ _I know right!”_ she even pointed at Catra and nodded before she caught herself. Then she zeroed in on Scorpia, “We need to talk. You too Shadow Weaver. We haven’t got time. We _need_ to activate the Heart. We have to risk it without…. She Ra. Scorpia… we need the Black Garnet.”

Scorpia blinked and began to speak, but Glimmer stepped forward and grabbed both her and the Witch. They blinked away. Pefuma stood there, stunned, whilst her gaze flicked around the room. Then, with a muttered “Oh dear,” she headed for the door. Catra rolled her eyes but froze as Perfuma stopped at the door and looked back, “It’s um… It’s going to be ok Catra. We’ll do our thing and then we _will_ work this out. Don’t lose hope.”

And then she was gone, leaving Catra feeling _very very_ uncomfortable. Her gaze drifted to the two guards. The pair hadn’t moved all night. Hadn’t moved to stop Weaver or the guests.

“Uh… you guys suck at this, you know that right?” The pair didn’t move, “Yeesh. Are you guys even _awake_. Well, if you’re gonna just stand there, mind telling me where I can… y’know.”

That was always an option - escape during toilet stuff. But she hadn’t got the urge. Not quite. The guards exchanged glances but didn’t move. Catra gave a huff and fell back onto the sofa.

It really didn’t feel good without cushions.

  
  


\-------------------------

She must’ve dozed. Because she was jolted awake by an explosion. Standing up her mind went to alert stations. Was it the Horde?

_Are they here to rescue me?_

Very unlikely, considering her and Hordak weren’t exactly on the same side. The room is trembling slightly and she notes, with surprise, that the guards are gone. Another explosion sounds, echoing into the room but it sounds _wrong_. It’s not artillery. Or bombs. It sounds more like trees collapsing, masonry blasting apart.

A horrible green light illuminated the room briefly, and Catra spun to stare out of the bay windows.

The sky had turned a nasty orange purple and strange geysers of what looked like steam mixed with light seemed to be gouting up at strange intervals along the horizon. She frowned, eyes flicking rapidly across the vista around Brightmoon. It was _insane_. Was this one of Hordak’s weapons? Had the Horde triggered something?

There was another flash of light and she stumbled backwards, tripping over her tray. She rolled and hissed before she nimbly came to her feet.

Outside the circle.

She blinked and saw that the tiles were all cracked and that some of the sigils were no longer glowing.

 _Time to run maybe_.

Her legs tensed as she turned to the windows - easier to go that way, maybe dive into the lake, or climb down, rather than fighting through a whole compliment of guards. She moved towards the tall apertures and froze. She could see the moonstone from this room and it looked _wrong_.

The colours rolling over its surface looked like some sort of slick, similar to the water in the Fright Zone. Her gaze dropped down and she saw that things were going wrong elsewhere. The castle waters were roiling like it was stormy and the wind was picking up. Climbing down seemed… risky. Add to that the forest beyond seemed to have taken on a more threatening air. The sky was flowing between bright sunshine and awful darkness as clouds of _shadows_ passed across it.

“This is… not good,” she murmured to herself. If the stones were going wrong, that meant the magic was going wrong. Which meant.

 _“Adora.”_ There was no thinking, no weighing of options. She turned and sprinted for the door.

And ran into Bow who was pushing the big wooden frame open. They tumbled into the corridor and she hissed. Her claws came out instinctively and clanged against his bow, “Catra! WAIT!”

She readied another strike when another voice piped up, “Oh, hello Catra. Have you seen Emily anywhere? They told me she was on the upper floors. Isn’t this place _fascinating_ . And have you seen the errant reactions to fluctuating magical radiological emanations playing _havoc_ with the local ionosphere. I simply MUST get readings. For _science_.”

Catra froze mid swipe and looked to her right. Entrapta beamed at her from where she sat on one of her prehensile purple pigtails. She had a data pad in hand and was peering at it enthusiastically. The image was so strange Catra just sat back on her haunches and stared at the princess, then looked sidelong at Bow.

“So, uh. You found her.”

“Yeah, not easy. Nearly got _eaten_ by that place. I am NEVER going BACK there again. Also, do NOT talk to me about monkeys, climbing things or SNAKES. Also Beetles.”

“Uhhh ok. So, what… why are you _here_ here?”

She’s off balance. Normally that’d mean snark and swiping. But she’s just cautious enough to notice Arrow Boy hasn’t tried to attack her. And nor has Entrapta; though whether that ditz would was always a bit of an anomaly. _Yeesh_ she was using words like _anomaly_.

“So, uh we may have found out some… bad stuff. Just a tiny bit. But we found Micha!”

“Who?”

“And also more BAD STUFF. Like really bad. And I can’t find Glimmer. And the other Princesses are dealing with Adora and….”

“Wait wait… dealing with Adora? She’s… she’s alive?” Catra grabbed at Bow’s arms, her voice squeaking with something she wasn’t familiar with. Pleasure? Hope? Happiness? All of the above? But Bow’s pensive expression made her pause, “What. Happened.”

“Oh the procedure went well, we removed the shrapnel and restored bodily functions. Hordaks tech is _amazing_ and he has got a better grasp of technomagi-techniques than anyone on the planet. Add to that his ability for life extension technology due to his, ah condition and my application of the First One tech-chip it meant that Adora was guaranteed a 67.457% chance of pulling through. Hurray! Except also, oops.”

“Wait… what chip?” A memory floated up in Catra’s mind for some reason. White snow. Red eyes.

Bow swallowed, “Yeah. about that. I think… I think Adora came back wrong….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we all see where this is going! Can you guess?
> 
> Also, maybe Catra isn't a Bad Person now... maybe. The journey to change begins with a single step. Or tantrum.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra turns a corner. Adora enters stage left.

The words were disjointed in her head. She _came back_? She was dead? Or had they just… fixed her? Catra growled and shook her head, then shot a glare at Bow.

“And what do you expect _me_ to do?”

He stared at her, almost incredulous, “I don’t know, maybe _help_?”

She huffed and looked away, “Why… why would I want to do that? She’s my enemy, I mean…”

Hands grabbed her shoulders and she found herself face to face with Bow. And his face was set into a not flustered _glare_ , “All right Catra. Let’s _do this_ . Real quick. Because, as you _may have noticed_ the planet is blowing up. So, right now, one of my _best friends_ is screaming and trying to _kill_ everything.”

Catra’s mouth twitched as she tried to grin but again it felt hard to do. Forced. “Sounds like she’s doing _me_ a favour.”

Bow rocked his head back, exasperated, “Don’t you care? You seemed to care a heck of a lot yesterday. And after... _it_ … happened. I saw that look. I thought you were angry. You weren’t…. I know that look.”

Catra glared at him, “You don’t know…”

“It’s the same look Adora got every time, _every DAMN time_ we left you behind.”

Catra rocked backwards. She tried to fight his grip, but Bow held on, “Let me go! I don’t care, I don’t… I do… do...don’t,”

_Don’t cry. Don’t cry. You held it together in front of Lonnie. Sort of. You don’t need to cry._

“Catra she needs us. And frankly you’re the only person with anti-She Ra experience. Much as I hate to say it…. You may be the best chance we have of knocking her down.”

Entrapta peered around Bow’s shoulder, “Also, if we don’t hurry the planet is likely to explode in 7.2 hours due to catastrophic energy build up, barring a targeted release. So, y’know… BOOM. Isn’t it _fascinating?”_

Catra stared at her, then looked back at Bow. He shrugged, “Planet’s a weapon. All the gemstones link it together. Makes for a very large firework.”

“When you guys come up with dumb plans, you really don’t go easy, do you.”

“Go big or go home,” chuckled Bow nervously. He glanced at his hands and let go of Catra. She just stayed stock still, “Look. We need your help. You want to run, fine. I won’t fight you. Or stop you. I’m going to go back downstairs. And I’m going to do my best to save my friend.”

Bow stood and looked at Catra with a frown, “What?” she squeaked.

“I don’t know Catra. We never got why she was so hung up on you. I don’t _get_ you. How you can… seem sad and then not care.”

“She… she LEFT me…”

Bow looked at her and shook his head, “She asked you to go with her. But you didn’t trust her. She never stopped trusting you… until now.”

He turned and looked at Entrapta, “Any ideas?”

“Ummm… the chip needs to be removed directly. A suitable electrical charge could do it. But we’d need to get close. And there’s still the risk of the feedback causing the chest-assembly to overheat. That would result in 3rd degree burns at minimum, potentially fatal abrasion and heat radiation into the vascular tissue. It’s likely she would not survive. But statistically, it’s likely that, without She Ra, the external cataclysm will cease. From what we understand of those writings, she is a part of the machine…”

_Part of the machine._

_A good soldier._

_Does what she’s told._

_She never stopped trusting you._

Bow had started to walk away, “Not helpful Entrapta…. We want to save Adora.”

“And if you can’t?” Catra realised it was her speaking. Bow paused and looked back. His face was suddenly tight, tired.

“Well then, guess I have to finish your job for you. Well done Catra. You’re gonna get me to kill her for you. Because I care about her… but Glimmer is…. Right. We need to big picture this.”

And his voice was _broken_ when he said it. It actually sliced through Catra. There wasn't any malice in his words, just resignation. The expected satisfaction at causing chaos was… not there. She swallowed and stood, “Wait… wait… ok...let’s say I… I care. We need a game plan.”

Bow arched an eyebrow, “Well, let’s get there first. Last I saw, she was heading to the Woods via the gardens. I think Perfuma and Frosta had her hemmed in.”

“What?! She’s….. WHAT?”

“Oh yeah, she’s trying to escape. Let’s go.”

The trio barrelled down the castle stairs, Bow having to tow Entrapta who kept peering out windows and trying to take readings, some sort of device held up by one long purple pigtail. Catra meanwhile was a _mess_ of emotions. Her head kept telling her to _run_ to _get away_ . To _not care_ . But Scorpia’s face, the memory of Adora on that table. That sad, near final smile from the girl she lo- _used to care about_ on the junkyard battlefield - it made her gut do something. It made her _soul_ do something.

It made her want to fight against the anger. She spoke as she ran, “When you said dealing I thought you meant ‘having a drink’ or, ‘fluffy sparkle chats,’ not _fighting_. Way to lead with the soft touch, Arrow Boy.”

“Hey, I said it was _urgent_ . You think I’d resort to…. Well, no offence, but resort to _you_ if she just woke up with a headache?”

Catra skidded to a halt, “Listen, you….”

She didn’t get a chance to continue as _something_ caused an external wall to implode. A huge chunk of ice rocked to a standstill among the shattered masonry in the corridor before them. Catra and Bow stared, whilst Entrapta cooed at the damage. The ice cracked and then split open, revealing a very dazed Frosta. She shook her head and saw Catra.

“HORDE!” the tiny Princess leapt forward. Or tried to. Instead she got about a foot into the air and dropped unceremoniously, to the ground, where she remained, groaning.

“Frosta! What… what happened?”

The youngest Princess rolled onto her back, “She… she reflected my Ice at me… then just _wham_ … threw me through a wall. It was AWESOME,”

“Yeah she’s concussed. Entrapta, can you…?”

“Hmmm? Oh, the tiny blue one who shouts is hurt? I suppose I can… let me see…. No that’s a saw, ooooh wondered why I had that in there… Hordak’s spare coupler…. Some soldering… Ah HA! Bandages. And look… she has her own ice! TRAVELLING ICE PACK! Experiment log #576, field trial of medical supply on concussed subject.”

Bow and Catra exchanged a look and shrugged at the same time, “She do this with you?”

“Way too much.”

“Yeah… it’s a mood. Right, let’s, uh… let’s go see…”

They peered around the hole and saw the chaos.

The Royal gardens were absolutely carnage. Flower beds, ornamental fountains and gazebos - all smashed to pieces or churned up. A tangle of vines had _something_ wrapped up in them, but they were straining and snapping, more trying to add to the cocoon as Perfuma stood a ways off, arms gyrating as she tried to channel her power. Except she kept flickering. Her body flashed with green energy. The flower princess sagged and cried out, then stumbled as she tried to keep upright.

A wave of water crashed over the vines, pushing them down, or at least trying to. Mermista appeared, riding another wave. But it collapsed as she too flashed with a strange blue light. The water princess hit the ground and rolled, then cried out in pain.

“That’s gonna hurt in the morning,” quipped Catra. Bow shot her a sidelong look.

“Not the time, Catra.”

“What, not like we’re friends…”

Bow made a disgusted noise then vaulted the rubble. He pulled an arrow from his quiver and levelled it at the tangle of vines. Catra leapt after him, “What are you going to do, _shoot her_?”

“Yeah I know… normally your plan. It’s some immobilising gel. Perfuma, let her go. I need a clear shot.”

Perfuma groaned and flickered. The vines loosened and _something_ tore out of the bindings. Catra stared, a lump suddenly in her throat and Bow wavered.

_Nononono. Adora._

It was Adora. It was also She Ra. And she was also _wrong_.

It was like looking at two pictures, overlaid one on top of the other. It reminded Catra of something they’d found in the salvage yard when they were ten. A crate of material from one of the “supply runs” - what she later learned were raiding strikes. In there had been a book of pictures which, when you flipped the pages, moved. It’d been a knight fighting a dragon, all flowing red hair and shiny armour against a six legged lizard, displayed in stop motion.

Adora walked out of the mess of vines.Her chest was encased in that cuirass, which glowed with runes. But they were a deep crimson now, overlaced with thin red, vein like growths. Metal tubes ran from the cuirass to joints on Adora’s arms.forming a residual exo skeleton. To help her move? Another tube ran from behind the suit and into Adora’s nose - some sort of breathing aid perhaps.

But overlaid over that was _She Ra_ . And she looked _worse_ . Now the red growths had spread further. But there were also strange blue lines in there. At She Ra’s wrist. And neck. It looked like a leash of sorts. Catra shivered as memories of that raging _monster_ crept up on her. Being chased across the snow, dodging attacks that meant to _kill_ . Seeing nothing but blind, seething rage in _Adora’s_ eyes.

And now those same eyes fixed on _her_ again.

“Heyyyyyyyy _Catra_ ,” Adora’s voice was a sneering reverb, an echo. She put a thudding emphasis on Catra's name. Like she was trying to nail it into the earth itself. She Ra and Adora speaking at the same time. And a third voice, one she almost recognised.. Catra had a sinking sense of de ja vu, before Adora continued “Come to say hi? One last farewell?”

Bow let loose the arrow. Adora didn’t even raise the sword. Instead her arm whipped up frighteningly fast and she _caught_ the arrow, pivoted and threw it at Perfuma. The flower princess shrieked as the bolt exploded and encased her in fast-setting putty. Bow squeaked in alarm

“Sorry Perfuma! Sorry! O h no… Adora… it’s _us_.”

“Oh _Bow_ . I know. And really, trick arrows? Why not just go for the _heart_?”

She moved fast, but Catra saw it coming. She didn’t know why she did it, but she grabbed Bow and leapt to the right. Adora swung the sword up, sending a shockwave straight at them. Or at least where they’d been. Behind them another segment of wall exploded.

“Awww, ruin my fun why don’t you? Just trying to work out the tension. Because no one will let me _go_ . It’s all _‘stay here Adora_ ’, ‘ _we need you Adora_ ’,” The voice is mocking, sing song. _Angry_. Catra feels a sick sense of recognition.

Bow stares up at the sky and swallows, “She… she just.”

“Yeah, well, not fun to be on the other end is it Arrow Boy? Now _move_ she’s still coming.”

Adora stalked towards them as they scrambled to their feet. Her smile was crooked around the tubes and She Ra's flickering grin was positively maniacal, “Oh waaaaaait. It’s not Adora…. It’s _we need She Ra._ Well have you had _enough yet_?”

She slashed the blade sideways through the air, sending a thin slice of energy. Catra yanked Bow to the floor and the beam cut into a thin minaret about fifty yards away. There was a flash of dust and the whole thing slowly slid to one side before crashing down to the waters below. Catra was breathing heavily, her heart thudding in her chest. She rolled over and saw Adora still advancing.

“What do you _want_ Adora?” she cried out, confused and slightly desperate. They had no real room to fight here. No height, no obstacles. It would be _very_ one sided.

The figure halted as if the question had made her pause to think. Rocked her even. Adora’s head lolled to one side, a parody of a head-cock, “What do I _want?_ _You’re_ asking _me_ that? I thought I’d been _very_ clear. You always did have a hard time listening to me though. But now… now I just want to _go_.”

“Never stopped you before!” Catra couldn’t stop the words, couldn’t hold the reflex. Couldn’t stop batting that hand away. Adora and She Ra’s faces contorted into a snarl.

“Be flattered Catra. I’m taking your lead. Maybe I can just make this all go away. And then you don’t need to worry. I tried to tell you after you _broke my heart_. LITERALLY! Heh. Hmmm, but here you are… clinging to a shadow. You think hurting me _more_ will make you better? Just get on and scrub away your hate?”

“You’re… you’re doing this?” That was Bow. Adora looked at him and her eyes were cold. When she spoke, her voice lacked that third reverb, for a moment at least.

“No. This is being done _to me_ . But… I can finish it. And maybe it’ll just be me that takes the hit. One final _service_ . Give my regards to _her majesty._ ”

Adora turned and surveyed the wreckage. Then she moved to the garden edge and leapt over the balustrade at the cliff’s edge, like it was _nothing_. Catra sprung to her feet and dashed to the wall, peering over the side, panic in her throat. She watched Adora drop to land at the base of the cliff. The figure stood, then sprinted towards the woodline, whilst Bow appeared at the balustrade next to her.

“Where’s she going?” he muttered, eyes wide. Catra looked up and peered at the wood.

“Bets that it’s to the creepy First One Temple?”

“Huh? Why?”

“She’s being a colossal ass. But she tries to do the best. Weird storm made by First One tech? Where would you go around here?”

“Point to the annoying Horde Commander. We have to follow her, help her. You can’t just…”

“I _know,”_ snapped Catra. Her voice softened, “I know. That… that doesn’t sound like her. And I think I did that to her. Not just, y’know… but…”

Bow reached out to her but drew his hand back, “Let’s go… oh no Perfuma..!”

A faint voice called out, “I’m fiiiine. A bit, um, awkward but, I think if we’re looking at prioritising our positive energies that, maybe, Adora should be your focus?”

Catra looked back at the prone princess. One hand hadn't been covered by the clay and she gave an awkward thumbs up. Catra stared and reflexively gave one back, before staring at her hand and cursing at the sky, “What is _with_ you people?!”

Bow anchored an arrow to the balustrade and spooled out some rope, “We better go. She’s got a head start.”

“I can climb down myself,”

“Yeah, we don’t have that time. Please?”

“Ugh stop with the eyes, fine. What about… mermaid girl?”

“It’s Oh-KAY! I have GOT THIS!” came Entrapta’s excited voice as she emerged from the rubble, “I have worked out the optimal medical application of various items to elicit RAPID HEALING. Note in experiment log, addendum three, do not overuse bandages, they can restrict movement… also breathing. PROGRESS!”

Mermista was lying face down but managed to raise and arm to wave them off. Catra shook her head, then looked at Bow, “Let’s just get this over with.”

He nodded, swallowed, then slid down the rope, abseiling down the cliff. Catra watched him go, then followed. She was secretly glad she did - the stone looked flaky and she didn’t fancy grabbing a poor handhold and falling. A rope meant a lifeline.

They reached the bottom quickly and Bow gave a short tug on the rope. The whole thing uncoiled and fell, bringing the Arrow down with it. Catra stared and swallowed, “Was… was that a risk whilst we were…?”

“Nah. It’s got a tension line. Only a one if fifty chance of it failing. Or was it one in five. But it worked! Go Best fri- oh yeah. Um, ok, let’s… let’s just get a move on.”

Catra nodded, her ears flattening against her head and the pair turned towards the woodline. Catra heaved a shuddering breath as lightning scorched across the discoloured and bruised sky. Her throat was tight and her heart thudded in her chest so hard it hurt. She managed a shuddering sigh and clenched her fists before nodding to herself. 

“Being a good guy _sucks_.”

Bow smiled thinly at her, "Yeah, our pay isn't great either...."

Catra gave him a side glance, "You get _paid_?"

Bow met her gaze and grinned. And despite herself, Catra smiled back, "Alright Arrow boy. Enough goofing. I guess... I guess we're going to save Adora."

"Darn right we are. Best fr- dang, did it again."

"Yeah let's... let's just _go_."

With that they set off at a run, heading into the Whispering Wood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zeroing in on the ending. We haven't seen the last of Hulk!Adora yet


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter one today... with a few familiar faces. Sometimes we all need a little nudge. Plus the promise of good baking.

The pair moved through the trees as quickly as they could. They didn’t run - running in the Whispering Wood was an _easy_ way to get turned around - the place had a mind of its own. Catra thought it was because the place liked screwing with people. She voiced as much as she and Bow clambered under a hanging vine-branch.

“Yeah, it’s… weird. Perfuma thinks it’s actually all one giant plant, a...uh… I think Entrapta once called it a _super organism_. Something like that. And I heard Angella once say that the Mystacor researchers think it’s intelligent.”

“Oh great. We’re chasing my psycho ex through a gigantic monster tree thing that likes practical jokes.”

Bow paused and looked at her, “I’m sorry, your who now?”

Catra froze and ran the sentence back through her head, “My psycho ex- _friend_. What, you guys don’t _abbreviate_ in rainbow town?”

Bow snickered, “Well, not in a way that’s so _cute_.”

Catra spun and levelled a finger at him, her mane ruffing up, “One more word Arrow Boy and that bow will need _Sparkles_ to teleport it out.”

Bow grinned, “Ok…. sorry. I can tell you’re a bit tense.”

“Yeah, y’think? We’re about to take on crazy She Ra. And I don’t have Scorpia or a pair of _giant snow worms_ to help.”

“You’ve got me.”

“Please, that’s like a handicap.”

Bow rolled his eyes and set off again. Strangely, the path seemed clearer, fewer roots to navigate and a relatively easy, straightforward route. They did notice something odd though.

“Huh. Branches here have been smashed… but they’re like fifteen feet apart. Looks like they’ve been cut,” mused Catra.

“Would she… just hack at trees you think?”

“I mean… why would she? Only if they got in her way.”

Bow looked at the trees, as if an idea were half formed in his head, “Maybe…. You can probably tell, is she ahead of us?”

Catra arched an eyebrow and scoffed, but then paused. One ear twitched and angled, which caused her to frown, “No she’s… she’s going the wrong….way?”

The pair exchanged looks, then glanced at the trees. Bow swallowed, “Are we going the _right_ way?”

“Uh…. this is _your_ back yard. You tell me.”

Bow heaved a sigh, then fished out his tracker pad, “Yeah…. So, let’s keep going.”

They moved through the undergrowth until they spotted a familiar spire rising over the trees. Catra paused and listened, “Ok, Adora has clearly lost her edge. Sounds like she’s taking out some _major_ rage out on a tree that way.”

“So, we can get in there and….” Bow trailed off, “Huh. Um, not really sure.”

“Yeah not super keen on the creepy mind reading temple. That place… it messes with you.”

Bow frowned at the trees, “Feels like _something_ wants us there though. And doesn’t want Adora…. Not yet anyway.”

“Oh she’ll get there,” grumbled Catra, “She’s… persistent. And you guys always seem to just luck out _all the time_.”

“That is entirely strategy and better skills.”

“Beg to differ but whatever. Let’s go.”

They moved forward a few feet but froze as a figure stepped in front of them. She was not what Catra had been expecting. Small, with a huge set of grey hair and huge spectacles. She carried a broom under one arm and seemed to be very preoccupied. Bow stared at her then looked at Catra.

“You’re also seeing a tiny lady, right?”

Catra nodded slowly, then leaned into the eyeline of the older woman, “Uh, hey… you ok lady? Watch out, scary big She Ra around here. She’ll probably try to, y’know, filet you?”

The woman stared at her and suddenly grinned from ear to ear, “Catra! You aren’t in your suit! Must be in your suit, what will she think? Don’t want to be late now, or Adora will be sad. Not as sad as Mara, but still. Do not worry, I have the pies cooling!”

Catra jerked back and looked at Bow, “What… what is she?”

“Uh, Yeah i think… I think this is Razz.”

“Uh what now?”

“You need to get _ready_ Catra. Don’t want to leave her there waiting.”

“Listen lady who are… where’s Adora waiting for us?”

“At the castle, like she said. Dearie me Catra, you’ll be late for your own… ooooh Loo Key? Oh, no, just a moth.”

“Late for what?”

“Hmmm? Oh, yes, have we met?”

“NO!”

“No? You came over… when was it? Adora was so happy. You don’t seem happy though Oh! OOH! Silly Razz, this way you two. Don’t want to go that way. Not yet. Not ready. “

Catra licked her lips and realised her breathing was getting shallow. Bow gave a shrug and set off after the crazy woman. Catra muttered something unrepeatable under her breath and stalked after them. The woman led them around a tree and paused. She looked at Catra again and frowned.

“Where’s the suit dearie? Still not dressed. Adora will think it’s like that time when you didn’t care. Like poor Mara.”

Catra flinched slightly and swallowed, “W...what?”

“Oh, poor Adora. She was so sad. We used to bake pies. Always confused with Mara. Mara loved pies. She didn’t have a Catra, you know. Maybe… maybe Mara would be here if she had. Just a Hope that faded.”

The old woman looked up at the sky and frowned, then looked at Bow as he spoke up, “Not to be rude but, um. We need to get into the temple? Have you been…. Helping us?”

“Me dearie? No, not me. But the trees help. Etheria helps. Etheria knows. Paves the way or blocks the foolish. Reminds me of when Adora was cranky and got very upset. Mara didn't get upset. Adora... she sometimes gets upset. Needs help to stop. Mara is going to the temple too.”

“ _Adora_ is going to the temple _now_ ,” groaned Catra, “Who is… Mara? What are you talking about?”

Razz stared at her, “Mara knew she was lying. Adora… poor Adora, she was so sad. Why do you have your mask on still? Doesn’t go with your suit Catra. That’s what Adora said. I think she maybe not telling Razz the truth, though. See it in her eyes. I think she likes it all.”

“What is she… never mind we need to get in there, not waste time..”

“Be kind, Catra.”

She spun at that, hetero chromatic meeting eyes made large by glasses, “What?”

“Adora likes that about you too. It’s why you are having the party, yes? Because you were kind. Oh, yes! Cake too! I will have pie, do not worry.”

Catra shook her head and looked at Bow again, “Are we doing this?”

“Doing what, dearie?”

“Not _you!_ And... THIS. Stopping… whatever this is!" catra waved at the sky, then at the forest, "I don’t know HOW to stop it! I don’t know how to save her and I _cannot lose her again…”_ Catra slapped a hand across her mouth and growled. Razz smiled.

“That’s a start, dearie. Then you can wear that suit! White is your colour. Wicked people destroy what they can’t control, you said. Were you wicked? I can’t remember dearie. I know Adora never thought you were. But your eyes… they are sad like that day when Mara couldn’t save the world. But maybe you can?”

There was a crash nearby and something fell through the trees. It rolled to a stop, then leapt onto four legs, bright, multicoloured wings extended, “I’m here She Ra! Where… where are you? Why can’t I hear you?”

That last came out as a whimper. Bow exhaled, “Swiftwind! You’re ok. Where were you?”

“Oh great, the rainbow duck is here,” she felt rattled and a sarcastic flying _thing_ was not on her list of priorities right now. The old lady made no sense and yet somehow Catra felt like she _knew_ her.

Swiftwind zeroed in on the feline, “Oh she’s here is she? Where was my invite, Bow? I saw you guys running but… what’s going on with Adora? I thought… I thought she was down and out and now she’s _pshaw, boom crackcrackcrak ANGRY RRAAAAARG_ all over the place.”

“We’re trying to fix things. Just gotta get to the temple, we, uh got sidetracked by… huh, where’d she go?”

Swiftwind looked around and flicked his head, sending his glistening mane flopping, “Ohhhhh you got Razz’d? Yeah, don’t really get her whole wise lady thing, but Adora seems to, y’know, _get it_ . And if she likes her _I_ like her. Plus… mmmm those pies are _gooooood_.”

“Ok, _FOCUS_. Duck thing, whatever you are.”

“I am a HORSE.”

“Whatever. Not important. Now, we need your help. Three on one… better odds. Especially as I know you can do freaky rainbow stuff with that spike thing.”

“Three on who now?”

Bow ran a hand through his short cropped hair, “ _Adora_.”

“Wait _what_ ? You’re fighting… are you with the Horde now Bow? Did you guys not only _not_ give me a chair, but did you also _neglect_ to inform me you’d switched sides.”

“Psh, as if we’d let tall dark and nerdy into the Horde.”

“Hey, you let Kyle in….”

“Not my decision, ok! Also, was… was that you being _mean_ Arrow boy?”

“Um, well… just that… he does get a bit cling… you know what, NEVER MIND! I need to work on this, clearly. Now FOCUS, as Catra said…”

“AND you’re agreeing with me. Yep, ok, you totally defected. Did we do a one for one with Adora or….”

“NOT THE TIME CATRA. Swifty, did you see Adora anywhere?”

“Uhhh no, otherwise I’d be _there_ with her.”

“Ok, cool, means she’s probably off… brutalising a tree or something. Right, Catra, you said earlier we need a gameplan. So, that writing on Beast Island said that all this is some sort of First One ultimate weapon. And that Light Hope is some sort of… custodian system. That means when we get in there, she’s probably going to try to stop us.”

“Oh goody, I get to go down memory lane again.”

“Yeah. And if Adora gets in there… well, with all that First One tech all over her, i think it could be…. Bad.”

“Bad? It’s already _bad_.”

“Yeah, but I mean, like… double bad. Light Hope is a computer program. And Adora is, basically, wired into a computer right now…. Soooooo.”

Catra connected the dots, “You don’t think she’ll be able to stop it? Even if we tell her?”

“If we can get through to her and she _wants_ to stop it. You heard her…. Something is wrong. I’ve never seen her just… give up. Also, you think she'll be in the mood to talk? I mean, we tried...”

Catra shook her head, “She doesn’t give up… it’s what’s so… sooo… _ugh_ about her. Alright, so, maybe we do something about crazy computer lady?”

“I can try. We need to find a terminal… though Entrapta could…. ENTRAPTA! That’s it.”

“Uh… she’s like five miles _that way_. No way we can go back and get her.”

“NO! We use the pad, wire her in remotely… she can probably crack things, buy us some time… we just need a terminal.”

“Ok, it’s a stupid plan but it’s what we’ve got. You in, cow-boy?”  
  
“I AM A HORSE! Also…. What was that? I didn’t, uh… didn’t catch it.”

Catra yanked her hand over her face. _Someone save me from good guys._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, Razz helps. Little stones in the pond make ripples. Let me know if I got it right or close to the mark.
> 
> Also, Swiftwind is here.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Temple of Doom - with additional references.
> 
> Will Catra begin to realise, or is she doomed to be a disaster lesbian forever?

The trio entered the temple cautiously. It was lit by faint blue light, lines of white energy tracing along the walls. Bow chewed his lip and glanced around nervously, “This place always gives me the creeps…”

“Yeah, no duh. It’s a freaking  _ tomb _ .”

“Uhh you guys sure you need me? I mean, last time we walked into some old temple place, there were, y’know… ghosts,” the horse-thing somehow managed to  _ gulp _ . It sounded weird. Catra shot it a look.

“Ghosts?”

“Holograms, really. That was… a spooky one. First one tech is just… glitchy.”

“Planet exploding, whole island of death traps.. Yeah I’m seeing a damn pattern, Arrow Boy,” sighed Catra with an eye roll, “Just…. Be careful. This place is  _ freaky _ .”

Bow gave her the side eye but surprised her by saying nothing. He really was nervous. They traipsed down the corridor until they reached the main central chamber. The plinths all around were lit up like Frosta’s Princess Prom. A swirling hologram stood on the central dais, a mass of colours that Catra recognised as the planet itself. Markers were flashing on its surface and her mind flickered to a memory. A map. Icons flashing

_ “Adora was right. Adora gets  _ everything _ she wants… but not this time.” _

Catra almost physically sagged. And then, because it wasn’t enough to just  _ think _ that, the image flickered to life about ten feet away, showing a scared Entrapta backing away from her. The computer screen beyond her flickering, showing the planet’s destruction.

“Stop,” whispered Catra, then flinched as a hand grasped her shoulder.

“It’s not real. They’re memories. This place… I...oh,” Another image flickered. Glimmer, arguing with Adora and Bow. Catra felt the urge to make a snide comment but paused. Bow’s expression was resolute, “That the best you got?”

The images flashed away and the hologram disappeared, replaced by an austere woman in a stole and hooded robe, “Administrator presence not recognised. Security systems activating in…”

“We know you want to blow up the planet. Well, we’re not going to let that happen!” Bow shouted at the strange holographic woman. Catra winced.

“I don’t think she cares…”

The being flicked a look at her and another image flickered to life beyond her. Catra, holding a lever, a cruel smirk on her face as she pulled, “Your intentions and prior actions declare otherwise. Why are you assisting this one? Prior records from the mind of the Administrator  _ Adora _ indicate existing animosity.”

Another image, this time Catra landing on Adora’s back just outside of Salineas and hooking her claws into the girl’s shoulders. And then  _ dragging _ them down. Catra felt ill suddenly, “That… that’s…”

Another image Catra landing a gut punch on Adora. Another of her shocking Adora with a stun-taser. Another of her slashing Adora’s face. Another. Another. Another. And then Adora slamming into hat spine of sheet metal, her body going slack as, for a moment, She Ra had flickered and allowed a single strike through.

Catra was on her knees and saw Bow was contending with his own demons - Glimmer falling, Adora dying, Entrapta not emerging from the incinerator corridor. Beast Island’s tendrils.

The blue woman stared impassively at them until a rainbow blast caused her to flicker. The whickering neigh of a horse broke through Catra’s stunned mind and she saw the rainbow thing rearing up.

“You want to hurt Adora. I won’t  _ let you _ .”

The woman flickered again, “I wish her no harm. She is necessary. These two wish to prevent her fulfilling their function. One of them is illogical as she was attempting a similar directive previously. My conclusion is she should be assisting in the current endeavour. Loyalties are malleable,” she looked directly at Catra, “Fulfill the obligations and your end result will be the same. This is the most expedient option.”

“This will kill her!” shrieked Catra. She didn’t know what the blue woman was going to do, but she felt that the plan was likely fatal. That was usually how these things panned out.

“Was that not your stated goal? Mutual oblivion? This will enable me to fulfil my directive. It will bring  _ peace _ . To Despondos. And, with the recent alterations to the output chamber, enable a minor portal shift to fire the weapon universally.”

Catra lurched forward and tackled Bow, “Snap  _ out _ of it. We have to knock her out, do something… before.

“Welcome, Administrator. Please, step onto the platform for transfer to The Heart for phase 3 of ignition.”

They turned and saw Swiftwind backing away from the entrance. The figure that emerged from the shadows flickered as she oscillated between two forms. Light rolled off her in waves, along with arcs of red electricity. Her gaze fell on Catra and Bow, “Still following me, Catra? What now?”

Adora walked towards the plinth whilst the huddled pair just stared at her. Swiftwind was suddenly beside the hunched hero, “Hey, Adora… She Ra… what’s… what’s going on? What does Light Hope want?”

“Light Hope wants to unleash the Heart of Etheria. She wants Peace. And so do I…” Adora’s voice was a faint whimper. She paused at the edge of the slightly raised platform and Catra could swear she was struggling. That third tone was there in her voice again and Catra snarled.

It wasn’t Adora’s harmonic. Not her She Ra voice or her dorky, kind,  _ heartbreaking _ voice.  It was that blue  _ thing _ . Talking  _ through her _ .

She’d stopped Adora’s mind being taken by Shadow Weaver. Dragged her through this hell hole of a temple before now. And she was damned if she was going to let the girl she lov… girl she actually was starting to worry about... be puppeted.

“Get away from her you  _ bitch _ ,” she practically shrieked as she scrambled across the floor on all fours. She launched herself and Adora spun to meet her. Except Catra wasn’t aiming at Adora. 

Which was, of course fruitless, as blue-lady wasn’t a solid object. But she seemed to focus herself on Catra for a moment, which meant Adora also focused on Catra. Which meant Bow was able to get a shot off with another sticky arrow, which exploded and encased Adora in a thick, green clay that hardened instantly. Adora screamed in frustration and rolled, thumping off the steps and onto the stone floor of the temple, grunting as she hit the ground.

Catra had landed on the far side of Light Hope. The woman didn’t turn - she just flickered and was now facing the feline, “This is futile. The Administrator / She Ra component will activate the Heart and the project will complete.”

“It will kill  _ everyone _ !”

“Unlikely.”

“You’re insane.”

“I am a construct. I have no comparable measure of cognitive stability. I just am. Surrender and withdraw. Security level ONE activating.”

Light Hope flickered away and the room plunged into darkness. Catra lolled her head back with a wearied grunt, “Here we go  _ again _ .”

“AGAIN?” shrieked Bow, “What do you mean  _ again _ ?”

“I hope you like spiders. First ones seem to have a thing for them,” Catra rolled her shoulders and heard something pop. Time to get dicey. She looked over to where Adora was and froze, “Uh… Bow.”

“Huh you never call me that… what’s wrong.”

“Where’s the Princ-”

Something warned her. A shift in the air behind her? Or a pause, some infinitesimal noise? Either way she dove forwards as a heavy blade slammed into the stone floor. Catra rolled and came up next to Bow. Adora phased into view as the scenery around them flickered and Bow aimed an arrow at She Ra. Who then vanished.  Catra’s ear twitched and she sniffed, “She’s still here.”

“You can smell her?”

“Never forget her smell….” murmured Catra. And she blushed. Bow didn’t have time to make googly eyes before she grabbed him and dragged him to one side. Adora appeared again, swinging her fist through the space where Bow had been. The archer squealed in shock as they watched Adora vanish again.

“She can go INVISIBLE?” hissed Catra, “Why didn’t she….?”

“Uh not her… it’s this place. It’s overlaid a holographic copy of the room… so we can’t see her, it’s masking her.”

Swiftwind had backed up to them, “What’s wrong with Adora? She seems…. Irritated.”

“Understatement,” grumbled Catra as her ears flicked and twisted, trying to track the sound.

“Tech gone bad, Swifty… anyone see her?”

The horse looked around, “Um… she was heading for… there!”

He pointed his horn beyond the raised platform at a blank wall. Bow frowned, “Wait a minute… there was a door there a minute ago!”

Catra groaned, “I am sick of this,” she looked around and glared at the small stubby plinth on the raised part of the room, “Does that seem important?”

Bow squinted at it, “Yeah I think it…”

“GOOD!” Catra ran forwards, her claws extended. There was a screech of metal being sliced in many different and interesting ways. The room flickered and then seemed to revert, as it became more  _ real. _ Catra panted over the ruined plinth, which sparked and fizzed. Bow blinked, then exchanged a glance with swiftwind.

“I….guess we’ll be following Adora then?”

“Yep,” panted Catra. The three set off again, down the corridor, into the dark.

**\-------------------------**

The corridor did NOT want them going down it.

Images flickered, false doors appeared and the odd hissing giant spider construct emerged from crevices to hinder them.  Bow slumped against a pillar, which he then rapped with his knuckles, “Think this is real?”

Catra rested her hands against her knees, huffing for breath. She stood atop a wrecked spider-droid, the machine sporting several arrows and some deep claw gouges. She looked at the Archer and shrugged, “Maybe. Just know Adora is probably …I don’t know.”

Swiftwind was hopping around, in some sort of half squat stance, ready for a fight, “C’mon… C’monnn you eight legged  _ freaks _ . Want some more of the HORSE LORD!?”

“Dude,  _ chill _ ,” panted Bow, “I’m nearly out of arrows.”

Catra arched an eyebrow, “Does that, like,  _ ever _ happen? You store them down your pants? Do you get Gli-”

“Ok! I think we’re crossing boundaries… and did you just call her Glimmer?”

“I did  _ not _ . Because I did not finish my, y’know, sentence or whatever.  _ Sparkles _ could be actually useful right now.”

“Harsh. So, how’s that  _ She Ra tracking _ working out?”

“You brought  _ me _ remember… I didn’t  _ want _ …” but she paused and heaved a sigh. She ran a hand through her hair and swallowed, “Ok ok this… yeah of course I wanted to come, don't think this is some sort of... conversion.” she didn’t look at Bow, but frowned off to the side, as if studying their surroundings. The corridor had warped to look like some sort of underground cavern. It was horribly familiar.

Catra swallowed and glanced to the other side. Bow followed her gaze and saw a crevice. More like a vast gaping hole. Even Swiftwind paused in his prancing. He trotted over to the edge of the hole and frowned.

“Hey, this is like the place Adora said you…”

“OK! Yes! FINE I GET IT! I know, I… I let her down. I left her. I didn’t care! I was dead… dead inside…. I didn’t want… want to care.”

Catra sagged down and hugged her knees, trembling. Bow made a  _ cut it out _ motion at Swiftwind, but the horse neighed, “Yeah, she didn’t come out of her room for days after that. Made things a  _ teensy _ bit awkward for the princesses and that Queen Angella…. Oh, yeah, that… ummm…”

Catra bashed her head against her knees and hissed, “Why… why does it hurt? It shouldn’t  _ hurt _ . You… you’re all my enemies.”

Bow moved over the sandy ground and sat on the edge of the shattered robot. He heaved a gentle sigh and shrugged, “Are we? I mean… I talk to Kyle. We get on. We’ve got Horde deserters in the Rebellion. I hate the Horde for what it does but… the people in it? Scared people, people who follow orders because they’ve spent their whole lives conditioned? I… I can’t hate them all. It’s too much. Leaves you empty.”

She didn’t look up, but Bow could make out her blue eye as it swivelled to look at him, “I hate her….”

Bow leaned back on his elbows and studied the ceiling, “Yeah, we know. Adora knew why, didn’t really talk about it. Long time to hold a grudge.”

“She l...left. She abandoned our dream! Stuck herself to some stupid idea. I grew,  _ I got there _ . I showed them.”

Bow shrugged, “People change. Dreams change. If you hate doing something, wouldn’t you change? Or do you just keep doing the same stuff over and over? People changing doesn't mean they leave you behind. Unless you want them to.” she glared at him but he just went on, “My dads thought I was a scholar. I lied to them, pretended to be something I wasn’t. For years. I was… scared. Of their disapproval. And I got angry at them. For not letting me be what I wanted. Until I told them,” he looked at Catra, “And they still loved me.”

Catra’s breath hitched for a moment and her grip tightened around her knees, “She… she hates me.” Bow laughed. It started as a chuckle and then he collapsed back onto the robot. Catra hissed and edged away from him. Bow wheezed as she growled, “What? You find this funny?”

“Oh girl… you… oooo…. Oooooo that, maybe it’s the stress but… ooo. Yeah,  _ nope _ . Adora does not hate you. Angry at you, yes. Frustrated,  _ ohmygoshletsnotgothere _ .”

Swiftwind was snuffling the ground and then lifted his head and looked at her, “Yeah, Adora and I have this, y’know... _ connection _ ,” his voice was smug, arch, “and uh… yeah. I pick stuff up.  _ Hate _ is not the word I would use.”

Catra stared at the horse and watched the beast fluff his tail dramatically. She was confused, “What?”

Bow ran a hand over his face, “Maybe we talk this out  _ after _ we stop the planet killing weapon of doom? I think… maybe… anyway, we have no idea where Adora is, seeing as Swifty can't detect her.”

“Oh I can.” the pair swivelled to stare at Swiftwind, “Um, you’re staring at me.”

“You  _ knew?” _ hissed Catra, “And you didn’t  _ tell _ us?”

“Uh, you guys were running and, then the fighting and there was the  _ pew pew pew BOOOM _ and then that spider went  _ screeeee _ and…. Uh… you seemed to know where you were going… and it was a bit.... erratic. I mean I didn't _see_ her run this way... technically it's your fault for not asking properly.”

Catra looked at Bow, “Can I just, like, shred him? Adora won’t mind, right?”

“Me. First.” growled Bow. Swiftwind backed up.

“Uh ok,  _ honest mistake, uh _ … yeah she’s that way, four hundred yards… and she’s, um… I can just about sense… Yeah she’s not in a good way.”

Catra’s glare shifted to worry, “What? What do you mean?”

“So, yeah, that  _ connection _ we have, that  _ close bond _ , uh hm? Yeah.. uh it’s being interfered with. Like that weird crackly stuff that Bow gets on his pad? But I can feel her. She’s… in pain. Something in her is fighting, but the rest of her just feels  _ cold _ .”

Catra stood suddenly, fist clenched, her left arm clinging to the black fabric on her right arm, “That blue bitch…”

“Light Hope? She’s… what?”

“Her voice… yeah we knew the First one tech would do a number, right, maybe mess with her, or stuff? I think… I think she’s being puppeted. Saw it in the main chamber. Thought it was just something freaky but now...”

Bow swallowed and his face was ashen, “Ok. Plan. We find Adora. You try to take her out. I distract the psycho computer… and you try to talk Adora down.”

“Uh, we aren’t on speaking terms…”

Bow leaned forwards suddenly, “Then make a start. You’re good at getting under people’s skin. Also, cliff throwing. Topic for another time.”

Catra stared at him, but blinked first, “Ok…. sketch plan at best, but we’ll have to… do something on the fly.”

Bow looked at Swiftwind, “You lead the way. We need to get past these illusions. If I get guilt tripped about faking homework  _ one more time _ I swear….”

Catra couldn’t help but snicker, “Man, life was soooo hard.”

“You have  _ no _ idea.”

The trio turned and began to run again. Behind them, the red sand began to flicker away, the crevice vanished from view. For a brief moment a pair of young women appeared at the edge. One hanging by her hand. The other crouched at the top, glaring down.

_ Let go…. Let go Adora. _

_ Stop. Fighting. _

Then darkness..


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final showdown. Will it be enough?

The corridor was _long_. And the place kept throwing curveballs - memories, fake turns and illusions. At one point they heard Glimmer scream followed by a hideous flesh slicing sound. Then the screams of Thaymor townsfolk. Scorpia appeared briefly berating Catra. But she clawed through that image with a snarl, denying it whilst she also stumbled from the tears in her eyes.

Bow saw his Dads, their faces now shaded with disapproval. Then the corridor turned into the Fright Zone, all steel and rusted pipes, leading into a laboratory where Adora was fastened to a gurney and Shadow Weaver loomed over her. Black magic coruscated in the air.

_Her mind will be gone. Good little soldier._

Catra went _ballistic_ . There was the crunch of steel as her hands seemed to reach _through_ the illusion. The holograms began to flicker as, by chance, in her blind charge, she’d hit an actual wall and scored a deep gouge through the circuitry that adorned it. Swiftwind shared a worried glance with Bow. And they pressed on.

The Alicorn took the lead, his horn glowing, casting light that seemed to disrupt the illusions, until he skidded to a halt.

They stood at the entrance to a vast cavern, a single walkway leading to a central platform that seemed impossible.

And on the walkway stood Adora. She seemed frozen, locked in a struggle. Her sword was held in front of her, blade parallel to the platform itself. And beyond her stood Light Hope, back turned to her as holographic displays flickered and fizzled.

“Weapon is 87% charged, within sufficient power ratio for initial low yield firing. She Ra, complete the final configuration to prepare for initiation.”

“ _No…I… CAN’T….”_

“Your function is clear, She Ra. You are to trigger the device. Non compliance is not acceptable.”

“We… we were friends. You were Mara’s friend… why? Why….”

Bow and Catra approached cautiously. Adora seemed to sag further, the red lightning coruscating out to lance into the darkness around them. Occasional gouts of gren flame would flash up around the walkway, heading high above them.

“How far down did we come?” whispered Catra, thoroughly unnerved, “I didn’t feel a slope.”

“Yeah, chalk that one up to _Crazy first one drama_.”

“Makes sense.”

“Anyone else freaking out? Because I. Am. FREAKING OUT! ADORA!”

Bow and Catra turned to Swiftwind and tried to hush him. But too late. Adora shuddered and her head turned to regard them. The sword, which had been trembling in her hands, stiffened.

“Oh look. One third of the Best Friend Squad deigned to follow. And… well, Light Hope is just the start of _She Ra_ ’s unreliable companions isn’t she?” the voice had the triple reverb in there again.

“Let. Her. Go.”

Light Hope flickered and turned to regard them over Adora’s shoulder, “She wishes to be here. She wishes to fulfill her function. To bring Peace.”

Adora howled, her head rolling back and Catra felt her heart tighten. Where once she had thought that sound would bring her joy, now it drew knives across her soul. In her deepest depths she realised something.

She would give _anything_ to ensure Adora never made that noise again. To take the burden. To just see her _smile_ again.

A hand settled on her shoulder and she flinched. But Bow didn’t remove it. He stepped up next to her and nodded, “Give us our friend back.”

“You have no friend here, Bow,” grunted Adora, “Just… a tool.”

Catra quirked a hopeless smile, “Yeah you are.”

Adora frowned then, confused, but a faint smile quirked her lips for the barest moment, “You… know what I mean… you..”

“Yeah, ok, drama princess. You got left, join the _club_ Adora. You did it first.”

Bow glanced her way, “Uhh… do we want to antagonise the world ending trigger mechanism currently controlling our friend?”

Catra held up a hand, “We need to get her mad at _us_ … to do something about it.”

“Ooooh. Ok. Swiftwind, maybe contribute?”

“What? Oh, uh hey Adora!”

Adora flopped her head to one side as She Ra flickered around her. Her groan was almost on a par with Mermista, “Great.”

“Hey!” whinnied the horse, but Catra stepped ahead of the other two.

“So, what, you’re gonna follow _my_ example? You decided I had a good idea?”

“NO!” **YES!”** The voice was _seriously_ creepy. The triple tone trying to overlay the original.

“You came here to die, right? To do that saviour thing?”

“I… I can. And then… I can stop hurting you. And I can stop _hurting_ Catra,” whimpered Adora.

“Why are you hurting? All those medals strain your neck?”

The sword wavered and Adora gritted her teeth, “Shut up you… you…”

“What Adora? Cat got your tongue?”

Adora managed to laugh, a strangely hopeless sound, and a whispered sentence that Catra blinked at in shock and with a flush of something else, “ _I wish…_ ”

She was off her game, but rallied, “So, what now Adora? Just the planet? Or The whole Universe? Trying to one up me _AGAIN_? Can’t i win at anything?” she layered a level of scorn in there. Her heart wasn’t in it, was telling her to do something MUCH different. Adora turned, slowly, and Light Hope flickered in alarm.

“No. Fire the weapon. Fire the weapon. Complete the project.”

Catra pushed on, “Did she tell you? What it does I mean? With the portal I knew and did it… well, y’know why.”

Adora’s eyes narrowed and she hissed, “No, I don’t Catra. I heard you whine and _whimper_ . I heard you scream. And then I saw you _let go_.”

 _“_ Let go Adora. Detach from this attachment. You can be at peace. You will have saved the world,” Light Hope’s monotonous intonation cut through the cavern. Catra leaned around Adora.

“Hey, private conversation here lady.”

An arrow flew past and thudded into the console beyond Light Hope. There was a flash of electricity and it burst into flames. Light Hope flickered and flashed red for a moment, “Error, system interface damaged. She Ra must initiate firing in 5 minutes or system failure and rupture imm...immm...immminent.”

Adora stumbled, as if something holding her had let go. Her eyes flicked up and they pulsed red. Light Hope vanished and reappeared next to her, “Remove intruders. Eliminate threat to p...p...project. Initiate device.”

With a scream She Ra manifested and lunged forward.

“Awww cr…” Catra had to backflip away as the sword crunched into the platform’s surface. She Ra came after her with wild swipes and guttural shrieks. An arrow whizzed towards the giantess but was deflected by a flash of energy as the sword warped into a shield at the last moment. Then the blade was back again and Adora charged towards Bow.

She failed as a set of hooves connected with her and she was flung back onto the walkway proper. Swiftwind turned and spread his wings, “We don’t want to _hurt_ you Adora!”

She Ra flickered and Adora was there, the cuirass cracked and dented, but the chip still prominent. She levelled the blade at Catra, “Tell that to _her_ then.”

Catra’s plan had sort of worked. Adora seemed distracted. Clearly she was a bit _sensitive_ today - it hadn’t taken much. Which was concerning in itself. Right now they needed to work out how to stop Adora deciding to just give up. Keeping her angry seemed one way. Making her care again…. That was the trick wasn’t it? If she didn’t care… was she even Adora anymore?

Catra leaned to Bow, “Ok, if you can immobilise her, give me a chance to do something about the chip.”

“Won’t that kill her?”

“Don’t know…. Half of this is weird spirit energy stuff right?”

Bow nodded as they watched Adora. The woman seemed to be going through the struggle again as blue light seeped through the chip set into the cuirass’s core, “Yeah, like… didn’t they say she doesn’t want to even _be_ here? What’s up with that?”

Catra mused and shook her head, ears flat, troubled, “Well, guess it’s time we _talk about our feelings_ or something. Dammit Scorpia.” She stepped forward and gestured to herself, then cocked a hip and swished her tail, “Hey, blondie. Being an ass is my thing. What, failing at kicking my ass not good enough, you have to steal my whole identity too?” 

Adora’s eyes flicked up and Catra saw her face shift through some emotions. Sadness, then to irritation and resignation. Catra blinked as her old friend seemed to decide on anger, “An ass? An ASS? You have made my life a _misery_ Catra. _Nothing_ I do is good enough. And this? THIS? I thought… I thought i was helping and now it turns out I’m yet another _tool_ for someone.”

The sword came up and Adora charged. Catra was shocked and dived out of the way. Adora continued as she swung, Catra scrambling to avoid the strikes. The blond seemed to completely ignore Bow and Swiftwind, despite their yells. Light Hope flickered in and out of existence, bleating about errors.

“All I was was something to be used. I am _nothing_ except for what I do for people. So have I done _enough_ yet Catra? I protected you… bled for you… fell into darkness _for you_ ….” She slashed down, forcing Catra to dance away. The sword bit into the steel then came free easily, “ _Begged_ for you.”

Catra scrambled back. Then rolled as the blade bit into the marble floor, “Hey, I didn’t ask you to do anything!” but her voice was small, suddenly afraid. Not for her life. But something far more fragile. Adora came at her sword drawn back.

“I died for you. Is it enough yet? Are you _happy_ yet?” Those eyes, once blue, now blistered with red lines, stared at her. Tears seem to leak from them as Adora’s face is fixed in a snarl. But it faded into misery as her lips trembled. “What _else_ is there now? What _more_ can I _do for you_?”

Catra stared up at her. She had a lump in her throat. Light Hope flickered next to Adora and seemed to reach for the chip, “Let Go. Do it Adora.”

**“Don’t do it Adora.”**

The voice had been Light Hope. She flickered again, her face becoming somehow softer, kinder. Then it flicked back, “Do it.”

**“Don’t do it.”**

Catra saw the hologram's arm reach again. And suddenly she was up. Adora was distracted. Catra felt her claws unsheathe and she sliced through the chip in the centre of the cuirass. Immediately there was a flash of discharged energy and the magitech went dark. Adora gasped in pain and sagged. The sword planted itself on the floor. Eyes now grey blue again, she looked up at Catra, a bitter smile on her face, “Once… not enough?”

The sheer pain in the voice cut Catra to her core. And she was there, suddenly holding Adora’s face, “Once was too much.”

Adora’s eyes flickered in confusion, “W...what?”

Just like that, it felt like they were back in the scrap heap. Expectations met and suddenly not enough. Words unsaid and dead in the wind. No second chances. And now... Catra’s words tumbled out, “I… I can't do this without you Adora. I… I thought I could. I thought you were,... the worst. I hated you. Hated you for _leaving me_ . Thought that if I followed I would just be. Nothing. Second . A shadow. Again. You drove me on… in the worst way. But...but but…. That was _me_. Because… because…”

A tear coursed down her face and she pressed her forehead to Adora’s. A sob choked its way up, straight from the gut. Adora raised a tentative hand and gripped Catra’s. The feline could almost feel the thrum of something, “Cat...ra…?”

“You were never… a thing to me Adora. You were my world. My everything. And I could only see you going as me _never_ having you. It’s why I did the whole… portal… thing. Everything. Because you were _gone_ and you didn't _need_ me. Not... not the way I thought. A world where I couldn’t have you, couldn’t be in your mind wasn’t worth living. So, if you want to give up… I won’t be far behind. I don’t want to ask you to do this… for me, though, y’know… I want to talk, maybe? You do this because it’s _you_ . And… I need to help you. To do the right thing. Because my Adora, _My Adora_ wouldn’t kill a planet… and I don’t know why this has you wanting to.”

Hands cupped hers and her mismatched eyes met teary blue ones, “You… need me?”

“No… need is. It’s too… basic.…. The wrong word. I _want_ you. I need you like air, Adora. I don’t need you for anything. I just.. .want… I just….”

_Say it. Say it. You’ll regret it if you don’t._

“I love you. I always have.”

The words come not from her mouth, but from Adora’s. Catra’s eyes flickered in surprise. Adora manages a faint smile, “I thought I may as well say it… just… tell you. You ass.”

Catra’s go to would be a retort. But instead her mouth wavers as she gasps out, “I love you too….” and the shock on Adora’s face followed by that sudden spread of colour is enough to pierce that final crack. Catra kissed her, tentatively, gently. Power surged around them, flickering.

Light Hope flashed above them, her face set in a glare. Catra looked up and hissed, _“MINE!”_

And suddenly She Ra was there, sword in hand. With a cry and a swipe, she brought the blade down _hard_ onto the steel floor, channeling all the energy into it. A flash and suddenly the cavern was filled with flaring energy. Light Hope _screamed_.

“ERROR ERROR ERROR FEEDBACKFEEEEEEEEEEED”

The cavern was plunged into darkness, save for a few flickering readouts on the plinth.

Catra crouched by the fallen figure of Adora, hands a blur as she frantically checked her, “Nononono I am not going… have not… will not… don’t you _dare_ …”

A hand softly took hers and blond hair cascaded as Adora sat up. Blue eyes fixed Catra in place, “So, you uh…. Jumped in front of a First One death trap for me, huh?”

Catra blushed and looked away, “Shut up, idiot.”

“Your idiot,” whispered Adora and Catra swallowed. She turned back and was enveloped by strong arms and felt a kiss on her lips. She murmured and felt herself respond. Her deep seated insecurities, her fears bubbled for a brief moment, but were squashed by the relief that _Adora_ was alive. With her.

And she loved her. Those feelings, that sense she was alone save this thread… her mind reeled back over the time they’d spent together, the looks shared and she cursed herself, cursed her stupidity, her fears. Adora had never held her back. Her own fear, her own self hate had done it. Or the hate pushed into her by the _witch_.

But that anger was cold now, gone, burned away by the fear of loss. Here, now, she had what she craved. What she needed. Her mind realised that this girl,this woman, loved her. She had friends, allies, _family_ but still.. Loved Catra.

And that the fear that Catra hated her, that she had punished her away had nearly driven her to suicide.

 _Pot. Kettle_.

She stifled a chuckle and Adora pulled back with a faint frown, “What?”

“We are…. Messed up Adora,” her eyes went serious, fearful, “I mean… where do we start?”

Adora’s hands cupped her face, “This is good. Then… we just take it a day at a time. Together. If you can do that? Because I’ve done this so long without you. And I don’t want to anymore. So please. Stay.”

Catra looked into deep blue eyes that stared at her with longing, but so much strength. Strength she’d nearly killed. And in doing so had broken the falsehood that was her own image. She pressed her forehead to Adora’s and did something she should have done years ago.

“I trust you Adora. And I’m with you. Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this leaves it hanging for Post Catradora. I'm considering ending this fic here on this, as everything else is kinda ancillary to THIS moment.
> 
> I may do a sequel set DIRECTLY after this, but this feels a good point to end on. Let me know your thoughts or if this was too rushed. Horses for courses and all that!


End file.
